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10 reasons to hate every console

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10 Reasons to Hate:
Our annual Week of Hate is slowly grinding to a close, but we're not quite finished with it yet. No, before we let go, we’re going to fire one last parting shot across the bow of every console on the market. Actually, we’re going to fire 60 of them.

See, as much as we love games and the systems we play them on, the fact remains that no console (or PC) is perfect. In fact, every last one of them has a wealth of glaring flaws that deserve to be dragged out into the light and enthusiastically yelled at.


Above: A perfectly sane and rational individual

Enough chatter. Bring on the hatred!


For some reason the internet seems to think we at GamesRadar blindly adore the 360. Nonsense! We view it just as critically as every other system, and to prove it, we’ll tear it apart first.

Red Ring of Death: Easily the most infamous, widespread technical glitch to ever strike a game console, the Red Rings represent a general hardware failure that can strike at seemingly any time, for no clear reason. Microsoft claims to have fixed the issue, but reports are still common – even in the GamesRadar offices – of 360s that red-ring, are replaced by Microsoft, and red-ring again, over and over, with no end in sight. Even those of us who’ve never had a problem with our consoles live in fear of the idea that someday, without warning, that evil red semi-anus will start flashing at us and we’ll be subjected to the same unending nightmare everyone else has been moaning about for years.


Above: The horror... the horror...

No built-in WiFi: The PlayStation 3 now comes standard with built-in WiFi connectivity in both of its current configurations. The Wii featured it right out of its $250 gate. Hell, even the DS and PSP come with built-in WiFi, and they’re comparatively cheap handhelds. And yet somehow, nearly four years after the 360’s launch, Microsoft still sees wireless connectivity as a precious and rarefied commodity, worth sharing only with those willing to fork over an extra hundred bucks. Which reminds us…

Its accessories are all proprietary and insultingly expensive: Think that 360 Arcade pack is a steal at $200? You might think differently once you realize that you’ll need to spend at least another $50 just for the privilege of saving your games on an overpriced memory card.

Above: The rationale for that 'overpriced' comment

Meanwhile, if you want to download any games off of Xbox Live Arcade, you’ll need a hard drive, which will run you either $99 or $149 for 60 GB or 120 GB of storage, respectively. And then of course, there’s the inexplicably costly Wireless Adaptor, which costs more by itself than it does to set up a home WiFi network.

Xbox Live is full of assholes: There’s trash talk, and then there’s what you’ll hear during an average play session on Live. Does this actually need any further clarification, or should we stand around screaming like drunken Nazi skinheads until you get the picture?


Above: Xbox Live 

Noisy DVD drive: Got a surround-sound system and no neighbors? Great, maybe then you can drown out some of the roars and hisses emitted by the fan and drive motors of earlier 360 models, which were presumably fine-tuned in a vast subterranean wind tunnel by deaf engineers.

Advergaming: Disguising ads as games is a novel way for companies to get their message to customers, and if the games themselves are free (or at least really cheap) and actually fun, then we don’t mind so much. But for every passable Doritos Dash of Destruction, there’s an awful Burger King Big Bumpin’ and a seemingly endless supply of creepy, creepy Sneak Kings.


Above: So that's where they live

It might be easy to ignore them, but the fact that crappy advergames even exist is puzzling; why would any advertiser want gamers to associate their product with a lousy game? The Yaris game, for example, probably did more damage to gamers’ perception of the car than it did to raise their awareness of it. The lesson here is clear: insult our intelligence with crappy games, and the thought of whatever you’re trying to sell will leave a bad taste in our mouths.


Above: PLEASE BUY OUR CAR NOW

Shitty d-pad: Tried playing Street Fighter IV lately? Yeah, so have we. Unfortunately we haven’t had much success, because the default controller’s mushy d-pad keeps turning our shoryukens into standing punches, our flash kicks into feeble jumps and all of our online opponents into Ken.*


*OK so maybe not that last one.

DRM for XBLA games: If you’re one of the unfortunate thousands who’ve watched a 360 red-ring and sent it back to Microsoft for repairs, you might have noticed some problems when you tried to play the games you paid to download. Microsoft released a fix for the problem last year, but the fact that there are additional hoops to jump through even after you’ve gone through the trauma of a red-ring incident is more than a little infuriating.

Microsoft pays for platform exclusives: Are you wondering when the PS3 version of Grand Theft Auto IV is going to get its own exclusive, downloadable episodes? Then you should probably pay more attention to the industry, because that’s not going to happen anytime soon. In a bid to become the definitive platform on which to play GTA, Microsoft floated Rockstar Games $50 million to produce add-on content exclusively for the 360. The Lost and Damned is the first of several planned episodes to come out of that agreement.


Above: A taste of what $50 million can buy a console

It’s not limited to GTA IV, either, as Microsoft established early on that it was willing to pay developers for 360-exclusive games and add-on content. How despicable is it? That depends on whether you think of it as Microsoft paying developers to create new things, or as Microsoft paying developers to not create new things for the competition. Either way, Microsoft’s making an effort to keep games out of the hands of those who didn’t buy its system, and that’s not cool.

No Achievements in community games: There’s a very good chance that some of you are completely unaware of the Xbox Live Community Games service, which enables independent developers to upload and distribute their games through Live. There are numerous catches, of course, one of which is that the developers can’t add Achievement points to anything they create.


Above: It's fun, but will Achievement whores ever play it?

While it’s understandable that Microsoft would think some “developers” would immediately abuse the system and go nuts inflating gamerscores, there are a lot of great Community games that are being completely ignored just because Achievement whores don’t think they’re worth the time or money. You’d think it’d be worth it if a modest 50 or so points could convince more people to buy games like CarneyVale Showtime, but Microsoft apparently disagrees.

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104 comments

  • aaron171 - April 25, 2011 1:38 p.m.

    i know this is article is over 2 years old, but some gamecube games ported to the wii weren't all that bad. Okami, Zelda: Twilight Princess, Resident Evil 4 (better on the wii IMO because of the aiming and added content), and last but not least, Metroid Prime trilogy
  • DARK_SIDE - January 5, 2010 5:36 p.m.

    hahaha great article GR! bring on the hate. haha snob!! the "incomprehensibly creepy"...couldn't...stop...laughing!! music lovers + DS = unhappy person(possible insanity). upgrade?...NNNNOOOOOO!!!! I think the analog nub is fine where it is though. haha mistyped "Ooops - that's not what was written in the image. You may be a robot. Try again"
  • kaneman - December 2, 2009 5:41 a.m.

    "Even the disappointing MotorStorm: Pacific Rift came straight from Sony." Im sorry gamesradar is usually spot on but motorstorm is one of the most fucking awesome racers ever, the graphics are awesome the tracks are awesome and diverse and u can play your own music so the above statement is complete and utter bullshit.
  • AuthorityFigure - November 23, 2009 10:27 a.m.

    Wii controls: "This shit isn’t putting you in the game – it’s taking you out of it like never before." I think GR better go back and read some of its own reviews!
  • BoneyardWolf - April 19, 2009 5:03 a.m.

    WTH is a GameCube? And are those gamepads? How the hell do u hold that thing?! It looks worse then the Xbox pads. Eww.. Thank God for PS's Dualshock.
  • samdamana - April 15, 2009 3:52 a.m.

    I CANZ PLEY CRYSIS ON DA MAX!!!!! YOU CANT YOU POOOOOOR NOOOOOOOBS!!!! HAHAHAHAH NO LIEF=NO CRYSIS (I jk)
  • TheAnswer - April 5, 2009 6:33 p.m.

    I agree with gamesradar a little because every system has its flaws like the 360 makes you pay unneccesary amounts of money for there stupid accessory if microsoft can payrockstar that much for an add on why cant they just come out with a system with ever ything built in like sony but on the other hand microsoft has a good selection of games which would b the only reason id get one Now sony in my opinion is my favorite.psn online is great and the online connection is great wifi or not and yes your internet connection does have a lot to do with your online connection asswipes. and even though downloading the updates for your games is kinda shitty lol ( im downloading an upgrade right now thats been going on for an hour) its not exactly required if u just want to play. And also if i hear another fucking complaint about there being to many assholes when u play online xbox live or psn fucking deal with it theres assholes every fucking where and no there not going anywhere no time soon
  • RedOutlive10 - April 4, 2009 11:11 p.m.

    I don't own a Wii but I feel bad for the ones who do. I would buy a Nintendo console mostly for the homemade awesome franchises such as Zelda, but there's no Wii Zelda game yet, just a GC port. While at it, the "casual" (I would classify them as crap because you can't tolerate a casual session of them) floods the game selling stands. Doh.
  • ppopopp - April 2, 2009 11:55 p.m.

    Well you guys keep doing it. I LOVE your top xx articles. Man...
  • TripleAD - April 1, 2009 7:11 p.m.

    The random crap you find on the Wii really makes my blood boil. Xbox 360 FTW
  • lxTylerxl - April 1, 2009 4:37 p.m.

    This article is total bull. The PS3is the best system ever made and for you to compair it to the Gamecube? That's just wrong and for all you little Bill Gates dick suckers the PSN is not one bit laggy I have a Xbox and a PS3 and I play online with both and i found that the PS3 actually is better than Xbox because you dont have people and their stupidity on PS3. And this last one goes out to GamesRadar SCREW YOU who cares if sony makes their own exclusives their Japanese they know what they are doing especially with those games you mentioned let me see here Halo series made by??? MICROSOFT Gears of War series?? MICROSOFT!!! And xbox charges for EVERYTHING even online which you shouldn't pay for because you already have to pay for internet PS3 PS3 PS3 PS3 PS3 PS3 is the best console ever and its so expensive because wi-fi and bluray is build in GamesRadar shove this whole article up you stupid little asses.
  • UsernameAlreadyInUse - April 1, 2009 2:37 a.m.

    lol this is the first thing i found when i looked up snob http://thewholegardenwillbow.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/snob.jpg
  • gmilf71 - April 1, 2009 1:23 a.m.

    by the way, upon reading some more of these comments, there are some major A-hole x-bots and ps-fanboys, and its really starting to piss me of. and psn is free for a reason. ITS CONECTIONS SUCK!!!!!!
  • villainstone - April 1, 2009 midnight

    "Windows Vista is an abomination" What a bias NOOB statement. Where did this guy crawl out of? I would like to get one serious viable reason Vista sucks. I will not say that it is the best OS, then again there is no best. With that statement he really blew his credibility out the windows.
  • drgnrbrn316 - March 31, 2009 2 p.m.

    @Cernunnos I'm not looking to get into an Xbox vs PS3 debate with you. Yes, it was good business to plunk down money to secure exclusive content, that wasn't my point. My point is that for all your talk of the customer coming first, R* essentially signed a deal that told the people who owned the ~5.5 million copies of PS3 GTA4 where they could stick their game, which ranks just short of half of the install base for the game. If it was about customers, they'd have created content that would see sales from 12 million gamers instead of taking a chunk of cash and flipping half those gamers off in the process. I realize its business first for any company, but that is a pretty blatant move that shows that Rockstar is willing to throw you under the bus if someone wants to pony up the cash.
  • Cernunnos - March 31, 2009 8:16 a.m.

    @drgnrbrn316: GTA IV is far better than san andreas, if only GTA IV had the hydra (or any other plane) it would be perfect. GTA IV coming to 360 WAS a fan-service. at that time, how many people owned ps3-s? and how many of those were likely to be GTA-fans? by making it multiplatform they made it accesible to more fans, much more fans. MS dont buy exclusives to screw sony or its fans over, but to ensure the 360 a good line-up. seing as the sales for the ps3 would have most likely been halved had it not been for MGS4, everyone can see the power of good exclusives. if anyone is evil, its sony. basically saying they want costumers to sell their kidney in order to afford a ps3, claiming it to be oh-so unique and then copying almost every aspect of the 360's functions with firmware updates. the customers are number 1, which is WHY rockstar favoured the 360, it has bigger install base, hence more GTA fans (and money, of course).
  • tjawesome - March 30, 2009 10:55 p.m.

    i totally agree about the umd movies, what were they thinking? it would make sense if it could be used in another machine or something.
  • darkside17 - March 30, 2009 9:05 p.m.

    I love the week of hate
  • GamesRadarMikelReparaz - March 30, 2009 8:51 p.m.

    @yonderTheGreat: The complaint isn't that the 360 should include built-in WiFi - it's that there's no reason for the WiFi adaptor to cost $100. Not when PC wireless cards cost around $15, and the Wii and DS manage to include WiFi and still be the cheapest systems on the market.
  • Sonneilon - March 30, 2009 8:33 p.m.

    It would seem to me that MS shelling out $$$ for exclusives makese sense. GR might hate it, but that needs to happen to separate the consoles. Isn't that how Sony got big with the PSX? By having games that was only for it and couldn't be played on the Sega DC? Sony needs to step up and have the 3rd parties get in on the act. Sure, Sony's got great games and all... I dunno, maybe it's a typ of business strategy. Rely on 3rd party or buy up 3rd parties to produce. Hmmmmm....

Showing 1-20 of 104 comments

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