Real pets are rubbish. If they're not pissing and shitting everywhere, they're trying to hump your leg or chewing on that miniature Master Chief helmet you paid 140 notes for. By contrast, video game creatures are clearly awesome. Most seem to lack the necessary anatomical parts to forge faeces, they never need walking and some can even fetch you a fern tree. That's why we've chosen the following collection of multi-talented critters - who between them can entertain kids, open cans of tuna and even win you huge bets - as our dream pets. Yup, looks like Fido will be taking that fateful trip to the vet after all.
Brumak (Gears of War)
Above: Oh, and before you start getting pissy about sizes, the kid's got gigantism, alright?
C'mon, how awesome would this be? Y'know, aside from all the infantcide.
DOG (Half-Life 2)
The pet that'll fetch you an oak tree. What more of an endorsement could you need?
Charmander (Pokémon series)
Borderline animal cruelty is such an overused phrase. After all, this little Pokémon clearly loves being used as an impromptu campfire.
Goomba (Super Mario series)
The pet you can eat! Nothing beats some sentient mushroom stroganoff.
Horstachio (Viva Piñata)
The perfect pet for keeping those violent tots mildly entertained for six minutes.