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All-Console Avatar Showdown

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Think customizable avatars are a passing fad? Well, you’re only half correct. With the recent emergence of the Wii’s Check Mii Out channel and some late competition from Xbox 360’s spanky new NXE Avatars, Miis are still hip to be spherical two years later. Add in the creepily realistic customizables found in PlayStation 3’s Home, it looks as if we’ll all be shape-shifting across the nets as our favorite crime fighter/athletic felon/anime vixen well into 2010.


Above: Rejecting people as Paris Hilton in Home never gets old

They’re all free, so there’s hardly a financial investment to consider. But one can still be proven to be an out-and-out victor that suits your needs better than the rest. That’s why we’re comparing all three character creators under the harshest and most obvious criteria. Although before we start, there are a couple of important things to bear in mind:

1. Wii/Miis have more functionality, but it’s also had two years' worth of creative users behind it who can easily create masterpieces in five minutes that you couldn’t in a lifetime.

2. NXE/360 Avatars are classy indeed, but even the most monstrous abomination will turn out looking like a Precious Moments figurine.

3. The PS3’s Home still has its foot firmly lodged in beta. While featuring a robust face manipulator, it’s host to a more pathetic offering of cosmetic features, such as somewhere around five shirts of plain and unchangeable color.

Let’s see how they all do with some icons.

360: The lack of overalls is immediately apparent, and that awful shirt makes him look like a Wendy’s fry cook. Overall he still looks “Mario” enough, and that mustache is mighty fine.

Wii: This could be an upset...

PS3: Clever sabotage, Sony. With no red male clothing to speak of, I bet you thought Bob Hoskins and Captain Lou Albano were as bad as a true-to-life Mario could get. He’s just a fanny pack shy from a trip to Universal Studios, yet also resembles a frightened immigrant caught in an INS sting.

Winner: 360

360: Women’s groups are going to hate us for saying this, but Lara isn’t Lara without breasts big enough to snap a human spine. Lusting after this Croft will land you a meeting with Chris Hansen.

Wii: Take away the body and blue shirt and all you’ve got is a Mii in lipstick. Truly, the Angel of Darkness of Lara Croft avatars.

PS3: Smart move, Home. Out of the four female shirts, one is a powder blue tank top, and the lone hand accessory is a pair of lacy adventurer gloves. It’s good to know your audience.

Winner: PS3

360: Who knew Kratos could be cute? Plus, a little scarring goes a long way.

Wii: Is this the God of War or the Guy Who Cuts My Hair? A flipped ginger-stache could’ve doubled as a scar, ya know?

PS3: With no ability to whiten skin tones, or add scars, or a f**king goatee, this Kratos Homey is flat out pathetic. From fallen deity to average dickhead at a ska show.

Winner: 360

360: This isn’t Link! This is from that creepy ass Mary Martin version of Peter Pan that’s been tricking kids into watching it instead of the Disney version for fifty years. Automatic fail!

Wii: So what if he looks like an albino Asian with rulers taped to his cheeks? This does look like some bizarre bridge between the Link in Ocarina and Wind Waker. If you will, a missing... nevermind, not saying it.

PS3: A fairly accurate princely, medieval shithead... if Zelda had been made into a modern-day Jerry Bruckheimer movie. But without the green Ebenezer Scrooge nightcap, he comes off like the bad guy.

Winner: Wii

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93 comments

  • brickman409 - November 26, 2012 2:08 p.m.

    the ps3 kratos looks like a bald doc brown
  • mdiaz033 - March 27, 2010 5:27 a.m.

    on a site that is obviously owned by microsoft, i'm surprised the obvious winner wasn't 360. but still it was close behind. i disagree. wii kicked everyone's ass. no one else came as close as wii's miis did. home lost b/c it is more serious with its avatars and isn't focusing on having idiots dick around with them to make them look like fictional characters or unique celebrities.
  • Cwf2008 - December 11, 2008 2:04 a.m.

    Eh who really gives a f**k about avatars or dictators anyway they both suck
  • Nintengeek750 - December 11, 2008 12:59 a.m.

    I'm sorry but the wii hitler is just plain scary
  • mrandydixon - December 11, 2008 12:48 a.m.

    Is it just me, or does the Home Hitler look like Matt Dillon?
  • fuzzattck - December 10, 2008 10:24 p.m.

    wow Home needs more features and clothes if its gonna be any good
  • stuzimuzipuzi - December 10, 2008 8:15 p.m.

    i fink the miis win most of them the hitler 1 lol
  • TheCorpulent1 - December 10, 2008 8:09 p.m.

    The 360 avatars would be the best if you could just change the colors of the clothing. If they had half the clothing options with the ability to change the colors, it'd be perfect. As it is, there's always some article of clothing that would work... if only it were black or blue or any other color than the one it's stuck as.
  • RROD - December 10, 2008 10:04 a.m.

    What a terrible comparison! Who even made the the PS3 ones looks like they didnt even try. Also, funny that all the 360 ones are made by the SAME person... a xbox writer!!!!LOL
  • CARLINNIT - December 10, 2008 8:38 a.m.

    I'm suprised how good some of the wii's were. I think that once Home is up and running on the PS3, you'll be able to create anything and everything, so i'd like to see this in a few months (or years, knowing sony)
  • Sebastian16 - December 10, 2008 6:55 a.m.

    HAHAHAHAHAH! YESSSSSS! I DEMAND MORE! I CRAVE IT!!
  • Ramen_Soup - December 10, 2008 6:50 a.m.

    Poor PS3 Home Mario...
  • TrIp13G - December 10, 2008 4:44 a.m.

    Whoa. Gahmah, calm down. We're all friends here.
  • HungryBeaver - December 10, 2008 3:40 a.m.

    WTF?! Michael Jackson on PS3 looks like s**t! How the hell does it win? I'd vote for the Wii 1st and the 360 one 2nd. All of the others were fine except for maybe Hank Hill...
  • Moosebomber - December 10, 2008 3:28 a.m.

    360 ftw. i made an exact replica of my emo neighbor. tried on my wii and he looked...well...lets not mention it. plus. that dick thing made me laugh.
  • LionheartAce - December 10, 2008 1:57 a.m.

    LOL, great feature.
  • octagons - December 10, 2008 1:55 a.m.

    the xbox avatars stance makes all the men look like a queer not that there is anything wrong with that
  • evildevil2 - December 10, 2008 1:41 a.m.

    Dick P. McJohnson.........XDDDDDDDDDDDDD, MII hitler? XXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, Joker, why so serious :(, >:) XDDDD
  • Hurricrane - December 10, 2008 12:28 a.m.

    rofls, the emo Xbox hitler had me laughing for 3 min XD
  • Gahmah - December 10, 2008 12:04 a.m.

    Hank Hill's ain't a Hillbilly you yuppie leftist pinko westerners. I guess Steven Jobs and Ryan Seacrest are good types for y'all?

Showing 1-20 of 93 comments

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