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Cheating the Pokewalker

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After a little math, Pokemon site Bulbapedia has revealed that in order to unlock all the routes on the Pokewalker you’ll need to walk 1000 miles. While Usain Bolt may be wondering what the big deal is, that’s a huge distance to cover. How long is it exactly?

Los Angeles, California to Roswell, New Mexico – 1002 miles
London, England to Naples, Italy – 1005 miles
Djibouti to Narobi, Kenya – 1002 miles

Above: Usain's morning warm up.

While you could be a sucker and walk the 1000 miles (good luck crossing Ethiopia on foot), let’s be serious, the average gamer runs out of breath walking to the fridge. In order to preserve our glorious, pear-shaped physiques we’re going to need a workaround, so here’s a list of genius ways to cheat the Pokewalker:

 

Stick it to a paint can shaker

 


Above: There’s a tiny chance this will void your warranty

While lurking around a Sherwin Williams all day usually requires some basic Spanish, attaching your Pokewalker to the paint can shaker is a surefire way to get those Watts.

 

Glue it to a gym’s elliptical

Above: Always make sure to wipe down your Pokewalker when you’re done

If only there were some place where people walk all day, covering hundreds of miles without going anywhere…


 

Tie it to your shoe and tap


Above: Kobe’s new shoe helps him get eight rebounds, 10 assists, and a leveled up Cyndaquil every game.

If you’re anything like the average office worker, you’re sitting all day, which can make walking impractical. Fortunately, tapping your foot is totally doable at a desk, just take care not to overdevelop one massive Herculian calve.


 

Tack it on to your Wiimote

Above: This wonderous orgy of Nintendo products is too much for Reggie to bear

Don’t let all that wasted waggle energy go unharnessed! Tie your Pokewalker to the Wiimote strap and make the most of your 7th playthrough of Okami. Or for maximum irony, do this while playing Walk it Out!

Mar 15, 2010 

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39 comments

  • logicalpopz - March 11, 2012 9:14 p.m.

    One good solution: while surfing the net, or in the toilet, or when you really have nothing to do...get a little exercise.Hold the pokewalker and do a wrist-like movement.Just swing ur wrist rapidly and see the watts go up.Its not the BEST method,but i figures it can achieve 2 goals,exercising your wrist and moving up the watts^^
  • Dinoreaper - March 19, 2011 10:36 p.m.

    What about putting it on a box fan? A box fan is a fan with a white plastic square around the sides and top and bottom with a cage on front and back then set it on high, put the pokewalker on and get 35 steps per minute-CheatsGuru.com
  • kitteninstrings - December 8, 2010 7:31 p.m.

    Or you could just do what we did: http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs300.ash2/57993_777790369759_5818947_41512041_5742377_n.jpg
  • billyx - August 27, 2010 2:59 p.m.

    I sticky taped my pokewalker to the fan in my room, it worked quite well minus the droning noise of the fans motor being overworked!
  • jamboy199three - May 6, 2010 3:02 p.m.

    Ichogame is full of win!!
  • FlashFire77 - May 4, 2010 8:39 p.m.

    or you can join track and go for a run. I got 16,000+ plus steps on an easy work out day
  • FlashFire77 - May 4, 2010 8:38 p.m.

    Usain Bolt is a sprinter. 10,000 is a lot of miles for him. Not so much milage for a distance runner like Pre. But these are still funny suggestions although your own shoe is pointless the elipctial at the gym for a whole day would be funny. hilarious > > tommat93 - 1 month 18 days ago
  • Extremespeed - April 11, 2010 1:45 p.m.

    Tape the pokewalker to a touch screen washing machene or an old dryer Tape the pokewalker to a floor fan and turn the fan on Tape the pokewalker to the side of an old PC unit The last idea that I can think of is to attach to a bycicle or scooder
  • evilmonkeyman - April 6, 2010 11:56 p.m.

    these methods are completely inefficient. I get 15,000 steps per second by simply strapping my pokewalker to Michael J Fox before I go to work. by the time I get home I are pokemons master.
  • Davidoliver - March 31, 2010 5:10 a.m.

    or just put it on your cealing fang and turn it on meduim while at work
  • LordAlzorn - March 20, 2010 7:04 a.m.

    Instead of making custom built shoes, I just clip it to my sock and jiggle my foot. However, this may cause blisters on your ankle
  • austin128 - March 19, 2010 1:58 a.m.

    Or you can just run...
  • bcakez - March 18, 2010 11:14 a.m.

    I must do it the most ghetto way ever...I tie it to an old phone charger and swing it back and forth while im watching tv. Itd be awesome if i had a ceiling fan cause Id tie the phone charger to it and put it on low :) if you have one DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!
  • hardcore_gamer1990 - March 17, 2010 8:39 a.m.

    i lol'd at ichigoame's comment :D
  • GameManiac - March 16, 2010 6:44 p.m.

    A lot of this is common sense or improvisation. Good ideas though. Working out with the PokeWalker on you is a good idea, especially since it's moisture resistant (helpful against sweat).
  • Xeacons - March 16, 2010 4:55 p.m.

    That's not cheating! That's what these things were made for! I didn't get HG or SS, but I'll remember that the next time I get a Pedometer challenge. It's all well and good! Oorah guys!
  • Noobis - March 16, 2010 4:47 p.m.

    Cheating the Pokewalker by hand was as simple as moving it in my hand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9_n5UIR92M - POKEWALKER CHEATED BY HAND
  • philipshaw - March 16, 2010 2:48 p.m.

    Or just walk with it every day for like 10 minutes
  • shamrock77 - March 16, 2010 10:36 a.m.

    But i would walk 500 miles, and i would walk 500 more. just to be the man who walked a 1000 miles to fall down at your door.
  • Cwf2008 - March 16, 2010 4:09 a.m.

    Hmm could stick it on your tire and when you drive you'll rack up the 1000 miles fast. But theres a slight chance it will void the warrenty and/or fall off and get hit by the car in back of you

Showing 1-20 of 39 comments

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