So, today is the day when George Bush finally - finally - exits the White House. His eight year stint in the presidential hot seat will be remembered for many things. Most of them bad and with terrifyingly global ramifications. But GamesRadar isn't the place to pick apart George W Bush's political legacy. No. That's what the rest of the internets is for.
Instead, we mark the historic momentousness of today by taking some of the most stupidest things that Bush has said (there's plenty) and concocting a list of games that we reckon George Dubya would love to play now that he's got a whole lot of time on his hands.
Gears of War
Ignore the bit about the future being in the past, and this Bush quote could almost have come from Chairman Prescott's own mouth. If you can't remember him, Prescott is the dude at the start of Gears of War 2 giving the rallying speech to the troops. The dude with unwavering self-belief that what he's doing is right and for the good of humanity. The dude that's got shit-balls of apocalyptic brimstone falling all around him. We just know Bush would love him some Gears of War.
Bush has confused himself as a birth-experienced woman in a couple of cock-eyed comments, so maybe spending time being a mom to some virtual babies would help him scratch that particular itch.
Tom Clancy's EndWar
The beauty with EndWar is that it's designed especially for people who can only speak to themselves. Bush would only need to strap on the headset and start issuing orders to his troops as they fight in a futuristic war triggered by, oh, oil. Yes, he'd be right at home.
The Middle East peace process requires plenty of hold hands and so does PS2 beauty Ico. Besides the necessity for hold hands in the game, we're sure Bush could relate to the story of a small boy being forcibly secured by his kin in a big castle where he spends lots of time desperately fending off shadowy, faceless enemies.
Sega Bass Fishing
This was Bush's response when a German newspaper asked what his "most wonderful moment" in office was. Seriously. So imagine how thrilled Bush would be if he could catch him some big-ass bass everyday on his Wii. Just remember to tighten that wrist-strap George!
This oral outtake might sound like just another pile of half-chewed stupid pie that fell out of Bush's mouth, but Fracture portrayed a future world in which the United States and America (split into two sides - Pacific and Atlantic) are at war with each other. And we've no doubt that Bush - who when leaving his last G8 Summit declared "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter" - would be amused to learn that, according to Fracture, in the year 2161 the United States and America was divided by rising sea levels caused by global warming.
90% of Wii games
With a self-appointed moniker like that, we know Bush would get on absolutely dandy with Nintendo Wii.
With all his experience making decisions in his decision-making job, Bush would feel right at home with Mass Effect, which bombards players with choices from start to finish. Plus, he'd be happier than a pig in muck gathering enough information about a foreign enemy to persuade the galactic council to start a war. The question is, would Bush finish the game as 'Paragon' or 'Renegade'?
Why wouldn't George Bush play a game that speaks Bushism so fluently? After all, this is the game that gave us such hastily translated subtitles as "All your base are belong to us" and "Somebody set up us the bomb".
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