What the hell happened? You'd figure at this point Namco could hurl handfuls of its classic games like BBs at flypaper and ship them in whatever combinations they please to some degree of success. As long as they're cheap, what man-child reared in the 80's wouldn't jump at the chance to play Rally-X and Pac-Man at a reasonable price. Unfortunately, Namco Museum Remix has squandered more than twenty years of nostalgia, while simultaneously spawning some of the worst motion control based minigames we've ever played.
Above: So happy... we don't have the heart to tell him what's happening to his reputation
As far as straight up "classics," here's what they're giving you: Pac & Pal, Galaxian, Cutie-Q, Xevious, Mappy, Super Pac-Man, Gaplus, Dig Dug, Pac-Mania. The fact that Dig Dug and Xevious are the only games that can make it through the tarnish of time isn't even the most depressing thing about the line-up. The controls are the main offender. You can play holding the Remote on its side and in most cases, with the Nunchuk alone. A stick for movement and a button is all you need, and playing with a single hand should feel so damned 21st century, good, just like we've seen in many a depicted future.
Alas no, every control scheme is mushy and flawed, making even your favorite game a chore to play. You can play with a classic controller, but if you care enough to give Namco Museum Remix anything more than passing glance, you probably already own these games and have played them to a traditional death. But as far as awful controls are concerned... you ain't seen nothin' yet.
If you were stepping through the Museum curtain anticipating a classic romp through the likes of Rally-X, Galaga, and Pac-Man prepare to be dissappointed, horrified, and possibly a little offended. These are the unfortunate titles infected by the Remix. Just look at how Galaga has been reduced to a idiotically easy light gun game starring Pac-Man's head in a flume.
Above: How could this be anything but Galaga?
Museum Remix seems to be obsessed with Pac's limbless head, because you'll spend a lot of the game controlling it with the analog stick. From the lame overworld to Pac Moto, a king-of-the-hill knock about you've seen a thousand times better in many a Monkey Ball, rolling his little yellow noggin just plain sucks. If you need further proof, try the re-imagined Pac 'n Roll (This ain't yo' daddy's Pac-Man!) although we don't recommend it.
As for remaining remixes, Gator Panic and Rally-X: Absolute shit. They're not just bad updates. The motion controls are incredibly stupid, and the game compensates with gameplay so easy it's almost insulting.
Just like a gift from grandma, these games have been repackaged so many times, it's hard to justify going out and paying full price for Namco Museum Remix. Multiplayer is nice in the arcade classics, but it can't save the insipid updates. We can't help but feel Namco's overestimating our affection for Pac's smiling yellow puss if they thought that'd be enough to get gamers to enjoy this pathetic pile of remixed drivel.