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Wii may Rez-urrect popular shooter

According to several internet sites who apparently get their mail sooner than we do, the latest issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly has some great rumors about upcoming Wii games. 

The first rumor is that a Wii-only follow-up to the cult-favorite PlayStation 2 shooter Rez may be in the works. Which would be phenomenal. There's no way the world-at-large - which bought over a million copies of Vivendi's awful 50-Cent game - has the class to make the sequel to a spacey-stylish, abstract, music-based blast-a-thon the mega-hit it would deserve to be. But we'd be first in line.

The second is that the previously announced Wii Sports will actually include some 30 different sporting events. We're skeptical of this one. It's not that the production values were so high we can't imagine it - the graphics of baseball and tennis we saw at E3 were very primitive. But there's no way Nintendo is going to package thirty games together when they could sell them four or five at a time and make 600% more money.

Exclusivity gets its throat slit

In the least surprising occurence since last Tuesday's rumor that someone had knocked up Paris Hilton, Ubisoft has announced that it will be bringing its fantastic-looking upcoming stealth murderlation game Assassin's Creed to Xbox 360 as well as the previously announced PlayStation 3 (and PC, which was announced earlier this week). Well, we didn't find it shocking, at least - we'd swear we've seen it demoed on a PC with a USB 360 pad plugged into it...  

iPleasure

This has nothing to do with video games, but it may very well be the most interesting link on this entire page. Ironic, isn't it, that we have to age-gate videos of games with kissing in them?  

Continuing on a sensual theme...

Circuit City hosts giant sex party

Or, at the very least, they're doing their best to screw every 360 owner who walks in the door. Check out this Kotaku story about Circuit City helpfully offering to install backwards-compatibility software on your 360 for the low, low price of about 30 bones.

Which is about 30 bucks more than your living room couch will charge. Your 360 will download whatever it needs automatically. All you have to do is drop the game in and then press "A" when prompted.

Jessica Simpson coming to your living room

We have to admit, our almost-entirely-male GR staff agrees that the former Mrs. Lachey's new video is the most view-worthy Xbox Live Artist of the Month offering to date - though it's definitely the weakest free porn we've ever downloaded. However, we still can't figure out why, if you download it, you can enter to win... an Xbox 360.

Guitar Hard-on

If you'll forgive one final reference to sex, we would gladly have it with whomever at Guitar Hero II developer Harmonix came up with this color pattern for the new guitar. Thanks to our buds at Kotaku for tracking the image down.

Xbox Live turns 50

... Million, that is. Microsoft's "download stuff, some of which is free and some of which costs randomly-chosen amounts of our own custom money" service has delivered its 50 millionth item to some lucky user's Xbox 360. Which should serve as more fuel to Sony and Nintendo's fires to get their own copycat versions of this thing up and running.

But maybe with fewer Viva Pinata cartoon previews. Just a suggestion.

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