It has been a particularly brutal and cold blooded week on the verbal battlefield between the warring Microsoft and Sony corporate armies. Both have been busy "giving it all that," back and forth, non-stop, on and on. And while the word guns may have fallen silent for now, our ears are still ringing from the undignified jibes and digs that were fired about.
In case you missed any of the mouthing off - and we know you love it when top brass bitch like a bunch of playground, er, bitches - here's a round-up of this week's thoroughly entertaining War of the Words, with a special guest appearance from the generously brained developer, John "Dr Doom" Carmack.
Monday, January 8th: Got your number
When the week kicked off with Microsoft and Sony both parading some hefty numbers, we just knew that trouble wouldn't be too far behind. The question was, though, would that trouble come "sold" or "shipped"...?
Tuesday, January 9th: Can't Hirai love. Carmack spreads doom
Sony president and owner of at least one pink shirt, Kaz Hirai, aerates his mouth and some Microsoft-baiting words escape before being approved by his brain. Will the Ridge Racer enthusiast ever learn? We hope not.
Respected and bespectacled developer John Carmack unexpectedly joins the fray, promptly popping off some shots at Sony and then taking aim at Microsoft. We stop listening when he starts talking about asymmetrical CPUs.
Wednesday, January 10th: Microsoft tag-teams Sony
Tattooed leader of the Xbox gang, Peter "The Mauler" Moore, and crony Chris "The General Manager" Satchell are fearless when they step into the ring for a round of Sony shit stirring. Words like "disaster," "struggling" and "$600" have got to hurt. Is Team PlayStation going to take this lying down...?
As if that wasn't bad enough, Bill "Master" Gates is heard taunting Sony with the worst kind of insult he could throw. Hsssssssssss.
Thursday, January 11th: Karraker assassination
Oh yeah. Now it's ON! Sony hard man David Karraker is mad as hell - no one badmouths the corporation on his watch and gets away with it and he counters the previous day's kidney blows with a few devastating below the belt numbers of his own. Wallop - stick that up your "sold" sales figures, Microsoft.
Not wanting to miss out on the action - and always up for a verbal scuffle - Euro Xbox heavy Chris Lewis mocks the Christmas no-show of PS3, although lucky for Sony that it didn't or else it would've had its stupid Blu-Ray face smashed in.
But what's this!? A surprise contender to the War of the Words arrives and it's none other than Bill Gates v2.0, Apple's Steve Jobs. His contribution to the week's jive talking is to take a big verbal dump on PSP. As if Sony needed that.
Friday, January 12th: The pipes of peace
Everyone has a calming cup of tea, makes friends, and forgets their differences.
January 12, 2007