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The fugliest games ever made

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Sonic's having a lovely time running around in his last proper 16-bit game. He's collected lots of rings and is ready for a bonus level. Just a quick hop into the swirly star things above the restart beacon and…

 

Oh no! The game's crashed! The screen's just a mess of colours and glowing white orbs. But wait… this is the bonus level after all! And it's horrible. Everything's pulsating like the lightshow you get from a migraine.

 

How is this a bonus? Is the onset of previously dormant epileptic condition any kind of reward for collecting 40 rings?


Above: Technologically? Impressive. Psychologically? Debilitating


A simple equation for you:

 


Above: Play in a well-lit room and sit as far away from the nauseating game movement as the length of the (invisible) cable allows


On the subject of GBA games, while it does seem harsh to bash a technically underpowered console for its 3D efforts, there's no denying this is one of the worst-looking 3D racing games ever made. It sounds just like Sega Rally but looks like... a bunch of squares masquerading as game graphics.


Above:  The only game where sprites are higher res than the 3D scenery

We got to thinking about the conversion from Saturn to GBA and realised it must have been a very simple process:

That last bit was our reaction when we saw it.


The worst racer ever? The worst game ever made? Look - the timer doesn't even fit the clock graphic. The tail lights are following a few feet behind the truck. Oh, and last time we checked, supports for bridges had to be in contact with the ground in order to do their job. Big Rigs - you're definitely not 'winner'. 



17 March, 2009

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45 comments

  • dibber - March 29, 2009 6:01 p.m.

    Did you use the IDSPISPOPD code for your Big Rig video? Looks like "no clipping" mode is enabled... The rig just happily drives right through concrete structures with nary a bit of friction. Lovely.
  • CorupptedCrunchie - March 27, 2009 12:17 a.m.

    i only saw 22 seconds of big rigs and i dont even want to see anymore. and, last time i checked, trees get hit if you run into them. that game should be erased from history and anything else... but why the hell didnt sonic get hit with the ugly stick?
  • admobadmo - March 20, 2009 2:19 a.m.

    The Big Rigs seems quite innovative to me: 1. Completely SAFE impact-free collision modeling! 2. Go anywhere exploration, just like in the Grand Theft Auto, or in Microsoft Flight Simulator! 3. Everyone gets a Trophy! 4. Constant-speed E-Z driving model, regardless of terrain! So simple, in fact, that a child could do it!
  • HushM110 - March 19, 2009 7:29 p.m.

    Mirrors Edge is so freaking bright.
  • Scotch - March 19, 2009 3:23 a.m.

    i saw the big rigs video about a year ago...that video AMAZES me EVERY single time i see it.. ahahaha great articulo :D only for some reason i expected mercs two for Pstwo aswell AHAHA :)
  • homie_cheese_slice - March 18, 2009 10:23 p.m.

    Wheres Killzone 2? I almost couldn't play it, it was so ugly.
  • noobeater - March 18, 2009 9:08 p.m.

    lol at pimlocosound wht a booooooooring sounding game
  • noobeater - March 18, 2009 9:05 p.m.

    lol at big rigs and its god aweful graphics i vote for a worldwide obtaining this game and burn them all...then lock the ash into a safe and dropped into the mariana trench (deepest part of the ocean ftw)
  • pimlicosound - March 18, 2009 4:09 p.m.

    Oh, and nice Wayne's World reference in the intro, Justin! Most appreciated.
  • FistfulofPelican - March 18, 2009 8:24 a.m.

    It's a magical truck that can travel through solid objects - that's the only justification I can give. Oh, and the levitating bridge is magical too.
  • antknee27 - March 18, 2009 6:42 a.m.

    Oh that Big Rigs was the best...why did it even have roads? You can drive through everything! Talk about no QA dept.....
  • HardNoks - March 18, 2009 3:58 a.m.

    you havent seen anything yet, look up shadow madness on the ps1 WARNING: you may begin to bleed from your eyes and or/want to shoot yourself
  • MrPips - March 18, 2009 12:37 a.m.

    Um, I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you on Mirror's Edge. I have a 52" tv and usually sit about 5 feet from it, and I don't get sick at all. Perhaps you get motion sickness, but that doesn't affect everyone.
  • GamesRadarBrettElston - March 17, 2009 11:04 p.m.

    How can Mirror's Edge both be one of the fugliest games AND in our Top 7... prettiest games of 2008? CONTRADICTION! BURN EVERYTHING!
  • jar-head - March 17, 2009 10:16 p.m.

    last vid: 3:20???
  • SuperGoomba64 - March 17, 2009 10:01 p.m.

    Earache Extreme racing looks like if someone puked blood all over the graphics in Doom.
  • cowsrule - March 17, 2009 8:10 p.m.

    That reminds me of the first Ausin Powers movie where he says Basil's mother looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick also big rigs sucks
  • Necron - March 17, 2009 7:12 p.m.

    Big Rigs? WOW!!! Just WOW!!! Worst game ever made. The game has no clipping what so ever, I mean, WTF!!!
  • Awesomeitude1523 - March 17, 2009 6:12 p.m.

    lol at the ugly stick on the last page Recaptcha: 10th Quigley No thanks
  • Z-man427 - March 17, 2009 6:08 p.m.

    i liked Mirror's Edge... but it did make me wish for some Dramamine

Showing 1-20 of 45 comments

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