I swear this story is not from The Onion. I swear this story is not from The Onion. But yikes, with so much unremitting weird going on I'm not even sure where to start. It's like a twenty-sided Rubik's Icosahedron of strange.
The nutshell version goes as follows. Action star Wesley Snipes, famed for Blade, Demolition Man, New Jack City and drag queen comedy To Wong Foo! Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar but currently in prison following a conviction for failure to file tax returns, is already planning a big comeback via the medium of games. His game has a name easily confused with that of an American actress and is being developed by a studio who previously made a Pikmin-style RTS about meerkats for WiiWare, and who have a photo of some goths playing guitar in the remnants of a forest fire as the first image on their web site. I do not know why they have this.
Above: Seriously, goths
The full version? Bloody hell. You had to ask. Julius Styles: The International, is Snipes' attempt to "bring my Art of War, Murder at 1600 and Passenger 57 characters into the game world. Julius Styles will offer something for both the mind game strategist and the kick-ass special ops warrior lover"
Tell us more, Wesley, tell us more.
"This game will expand on the cool, sexy, diverse sometimes scary, and often bizarre world and people I've had the pleasure to spend time with."
"I love games that challenge my mind and reflexes. Julius Styles pits your street knowledge survival skills with your academic intellect and spiritual intuition. The feature film is going to be a blast!"
Above: To be fair, the concept art is damn classy. Click here for the full-sized poster
Yes, he's planning a film based upon the Julius "Don't call me Julia" Styles character as well. Styles is apparently "an international 'Facilitator', a man whose unique talents make him a valuable commodity" in a world of "money, power, sex and murder". Who's in? Everyone? Good.
The game's first chapter is currently in development at Lapland Studios, whose previous release was Lead the Meerkats, a cartoony little action strategy title for WiiWare. JS is scheduled for a June release this year on the iOS AppStore, with XBLA, PSN, WiiWare and Android ports to follow.
Are you as gleefully mesmerised by this story as I am? Or do you smell another Wheelman?
EDIT: Turns out the banner goths are Nightwish, a band I knew of but had never seen. Lapland Studios have produced one of their videos, as well as making games about Meerkats. The eclectic swine. Mystery solved in part thanks to