They waste everyone’s time analyzing the wrong aspects of their play
This is most annoying in RTS games. Go into any discussion forum for an RTS and you’ll see post after post by players discussing whether their tank rush beats a fast tech to air units, or whether they should expand early or later in the game. Guess what? These questions are meaningless unless you’re a high-level player. You’ll never know if your tank rush is a good strategy when you sometimes forget to build workers.
Above: “So do you think I should go straight for heavy air units, or delay it slightly and get my tier 2 units out first?”
Nothing can be evaluated as strategically sound unless the execution is near-flawless. The other problem is, if a player sucks at a game, the matchmaking system will put them up against similarly boneheaded players, which means that some super strategy won’t prove shit when the opponent is playing one-handed and doesn’t know how to use hotkeys (or better yet, is convinced they don’t need to use hotkeys).
You can’t trust their opinions on the quality of games
We’re not saying you have to be awesome at videogames to be able to tell whether a game is good or bad. If that were the case, we’d immediately discount the opinions of 95% of all professional game reviewers (har har). What we are saying, however, is that for the bottom of the heap, the losers who can’t aim, can’t think outside the box, can’t pay attention to more than one thing at a time, and seem incapable of learning from their mistakes, well then how the heck are they supposed to understand the nuances that make a game great? Hell, we’ve heard numerous opposing arguments for why Modern Warfare 2’s multiplayer either sucks or is amazing, and you know what? Some of us at GR don’t know one way or the other, because we’re horrible at it. Just atrocious. We can admit we suck at it, and therefore suspend totally authoritative judgment. Some GR editors are in fact good at MW2, so we’ll defer to them on whether it’s balanced and well-designed.
Above: We’re so bad we’d probably die in this situation, even though we outnumber that guy three to one
Similarly, we don’t assign the review of a first-person shooter to someone who’s never played one before, because that would be stupid.
It’s all due to their annoyingly fragile ego
There’s just something about a person who is so deluded in their imaginary self-inflation that they can’t admit that yes, they might actually suck at something that just rubs us like we’re a cat being pet backward. It comes down to the principle of the thing. We can just picture these little shits screaming red-faced through their keyboards that they’re the best at a game and everyone else is cheating or using cheap tactics, and we just want to reach through our monitors and smack the shit out of them and say “SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THE BIG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE.”
Apr 28, 2011
The Top 7... Things we hate about modern gaming
We lead a frivolous, dreamlike lifestyle – and here’s everything we hate about it!
Why do gamers hate Activision?
INTERVIEW: Activision Community Manager, Dan Amrich helps us trace back the rage
Change the way you think to get better at games
Break your psychological chains and rule the virtual world