07. Zenses (DS)
The title should be enough of a 'DO NOT ENTER' - it sounds about as manly as bamboo wind chimes, manuka honey facials and energy crystals. It's going to be released in two man-repelling editions - Ocean and Rainforest. We wouldn't be surprised if it came with a free cup of detoxifying camomile tea to help transcend the daily stress of having a vagina.
06. Baby Pals (DS)
Pretending to be a parent to a chubby digitised rug rat is fine if you're female. It's natural. If you're a man your neighbours will think you're playing a virtual reality grooming simulator, call you a paedophile and burn your house down while you sleep in your bed.
05. The Sims (PC)
Do you have lots and lots of frilly panties for your dolly?
04. Dirty Dancing (PC)
So you might have watched the movie a dozen or so times because your genitals were obsessed with Ferris Bueller's sister. That's cool. We understand. But play the game? You might as well tie some ribbons in your hair and change your name to Ballerino.
