22. In medieval times, the only thing knights wore under their armor was polka-dot boxer shorts.
23. Superman is actually vulnerable to a whole lot more than kryptonite. He also can’t fly wherever he wants, and instead must fly through giant floating rings. Overall, being Superman sucks.
24. If you uppercut someone hard enough, huge globs of coagulated blood will fly out of nowhere in particular on their body, leaving no noticeable wound.
25. If you uppercut someone just a bit harder, their head may fly off, or their entire body may fly straight through the ceiling. If they aren’t dead yet, you’ll have to leap up through the ceiling to finish the fight.
26. In the future, the most skilled soldiers will enter battle heavily armored, but not wear helmets.
27. Most people can survive indefinitely without eating, while others will die in a few minutes without food.
28. You can sleep at any time of the day regardless of how recently you last slept. However, you can only sleep in certain designated beds.
29. Storekeepers don’t care if you go behind the counter and rummage around in everything, as long as you don’t actually take anything. Some will even let you take things without paying, as long as said things are in shiny chests or pots located somewhere in front of the counter.
30. If you torture a chicken long enough, his posse will come for revenge.
31. Every time you enter your house, you’ll have to wait a while before you can see the inside.
32. You can grab and easily shake a full-grown tree with a trunk that is two feet thick, and delicious fruit will come raining down.
33. If you crouch in a slightly shadowy area, people facing you from two feet away cannot see you.
34. Most trained guards cannot see more than 50 feet in front of them, cannot hear a massive gunfight happening a few rooms away, and will often stop in the middle of a patrol to stare at a blank wall with their back facing a long hallway.
35. Personality means never saying a word.
36. Wardrobe malfunctions never happen during strenuous activity because all women glue their clothes on.
37. Everything you’ve used can be sold back for exactly half price, regardless of the item’s condition.
38. Walking takes too long; jogging is the preferred method of transport, even when moving only a few feet.
39. You can only sprint for about five seconds, after which you’ll be so winded you’ll be panting like a dog. However, in another five seconds, you can sprint at full speed again.
40. Stairs only look like right-angled ascending platforms. In reality, they are just a smooth slope upon which you can plant your feet anywhere.
