Michael Bay produces - is this the new Transformers?
Is O'Neil in cahoots with Shredder?
The trailer's main thrust seems to involve William Fichtner's Shredder explaining to Megan Fox's April why he's the good guy. Oh, and he goes waaaaayyy back with her dad.
Will April spend a period of the flick as Shredder's sidekick? We certainly hope not, the cartoon version was a shell of a lot smarter than that.
Is this The Foot?
The trailer features a bunch of bad guys in weird metal masks. Is this the movie version of Shredder's ninja army The Foot?
TURTLE FACT ALERT: The Foot came into being as a spoof of Frank Miller's run on Elektra . His ninja army were called The Hand, here, they're The Foot. SATIRE.
Can we expect a Turtles selfie?
Following the insane success of Ellen's record-breaking Oscars selfie, like it or not, the self-papping phone photography has been taking the world by storm.
What better way to prove the Turtles are relevant and totally down with the kids, then by having them crowd round April's phone for a sewer selfie?
The TCRI are involved - does this mean aliens?
There was a lot of controversy when an early script leak revealed that Michael Bay's Turtles would be aliens.
Though, of course, technically, that's not far off - in recent iterations of the origin story the mutagen that transforms them into giant human-like pizza-chuggers was indeed invented by aliens, and churned out by a front company - the Techno Cosmic Research Institute.
That company is in the movie, so does that mean the aliens will be too? Does William Fichtner's Shredder have a pact with another set of little green guys?
What the chuff is Donatello lugging around?
Donatello is an inventor in the comics / cartoons, so we really hope he's the creator of whatever the hell that is.
It looks like a cross between a proton pack and a chainsaw, so obviously we're happy with that.
Will Will Arnett be any more than comic relief?
We love a bit of Will Arnett here in the Total Film office (Gob/Arrested Development 4EVA).
So we were happy to hear he'd been cast as April's long-suffering cameraman Vernon Fenwick.
And while he was always a tad hapless/useless in the cartoon, this shot alone suggests he'll be front and centre in the action. Here's hoping he gets to kick a little bad guy butt along the way.
How does Shredder become the bad guy?
So, from the voiceover, we know that William Fichtner's character teams up with April O'Neill's dad to "create heroes" which presumably means he had some good intentions at some point.
If that's the case, why's he gawping at one of the most iconic bad-guy outfits of all time? Unless he's going to a fancy-dress party, we need answers.
Could this shot be any cooler?
Seriously, just look at Leonardo.
For anyone worried about a major redesign for the Turtles ala Transformers , the fact that the only new addition - that cool bamboo breastplate - is a neat one has to be good news.
Is Michael Bay going to go overboard on the FWOOOOOOMS?
Every modern blockbuster trailer has its Inception noises.
Michael Bay has his slow-motion FWOOOOOMs (just watch every Transformer movie and/or trailer). So it was no surprise to see the FWOOOOOM appear in the trailer, slo-mo-ing it up to showcase Raphael slamming into a truck at high, shell-shocking speed.
Brace yourselves for more in the finished movie.
Why do they have human lips? IT'S REALLY WEIRD
Okay, so the bamboo things aren't the only new addition to the Ninjas' new look, but we're trying to stay positive here.
This whole giant Turtle-with-human-lips thing is pretty odd, and we're not sure we like it.
GETAWAYFROMUSMIKE.
How much has Megan Fox practiced her fainting face?
Because, seriously, the cross-eyes is a nice detail.
Sam Ashurst is a London-based film maker, journalist, and podcast host. He's the director of Frankenstein's Creature, A Little More Flesh + A Little More Flesh 2, and co-hosts the Arrow Podcast. His words have appeared on HuffPost, MSN, The Independent, Yahoo, Cosmopolitan, and many more, as well as of course for us here at GamesRadar+.
