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A man of many talents, most of them to do with genius cinema violence, Takashi Miike (Audition) returns with a devoutly classical, if not exactly classic, remake of a 1963 period samurai film.

After assembling his (not so) dirty (baker’s) dozen, Koji Yakusho ambushes an evil lord’s army, despite being suicidally outnumbered.

All politics and posturing, the first two-thirds of the film are stiff and uninvolving, and although the climatic 45-minute free-for-all is genuinely spectacular, it’s clear where the director’s heart lies.

“I thought samurai would be fun!” whines one chap. So did we.

Matt Glasby is a freelance film and TV journalist. You can find his work on Total Film - in print and online - as well as at publications like the Radio Times, Channel 4, DVD REview, Flicks, GQ, Hotdog, Little White Lies, and SFX, among others. He is also the author of several novels, including The Book of Horror: The Anatomy of Fear in Film and Britpop Cinema: From Trainspotting To This Is England.