Muse
Who? Pomp/prog rock absurdists meshing Mercury falsetto with Hendrix libido.
Why? The power-chord carpet-bombing comes with a disarming dash of arched-eyebrow Englishness. Action with eloquence - so very Bond. And you can't fault the ambition. These people want to play a gig in space.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Apocalypse Please.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Feeder.
Anna Calvi
Who? Guitar-twanging proto-Goth chanteuse. PJ Harvey with a sprinkling of Tori Amos. Or Florence in ten years time.
Why? She's Bond-girl exotic (Italian/English) and would layer the standard female-sung breathy torch-song with a progressive, 21st century Morricone ambience.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Love Won't Be Leaving.
Cut-price choice if she's busy: Kate Nash.
Nero
Who? Chart-bothering dubstep/grime technicians who really like that second Burial album but have realised that Pendulum sell more records.
Why? After his four-year sabbatical, they'd yank Mr Bond back to modernist relevance with a classical but familiar formula retooled for the urban-pop/multiplex masses.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Welcome Reality.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Hot Chip.
White Lies
Who? They're a bit like Editors trying to sound more like Interpol, but their angsty little hearts are in the right place and they had the balls to open their debut album with a song called 'Death'.
Why? None more epic. Whether you love them or vaguely dislike them because they're too earnest ( everyone in their early twenties is too earnest) there's no denying that widescreen sense of woe and wonder. They'd need to upgrade to sinister/sexy to nail the Bond gig, though.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
The Price Of Love.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Peter Hook.
Amy Winehouse
Who? Drinks a lot. Sings sometimes. Still no sign of that new album ('Back To Black' was five years ago) and her smack-chic star has dimmed in the aspirational-androgynous glare of Gaga.
Why? Tipped for Bond since breaking through in 2007, she has the kind of gravel-gargling pipes that are custom-built for an undulating credit sequence. Maybe a touch more high maintenance than Shirley Bassey, though.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Back To Black.
Cut-price choice if she's busy: Duffy.
Crystal Castles
Who? Canadian synth-fiddlers who conjure filling-loosening squalls of electro-venom tempered by soothing/stinging female vocals.
Why? Because it would be fun to drop their punkish sleaze into the slick and safe Bond mix; to take the band who teenagers have sex to on Skins and hose them into the hairy ears of startled studio execs.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond film title:
Year Of Silence.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Pink.
Warpaint
Who? All-girl gaggle from LA who manage to be both sinister and seductive. So that's 'Siren-like', then... Submitting to their woozy semi-whispers is like being slowly submerged in a soupy gloop of sex and death and obsession. With no bread.
Why? Because they're weird. And we haven't had weird with a Bond movie title theme since, er, Garbage did The World Is Not Enough.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Composure.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Joanna Newsom.
Mogwai
Who? Scottish noiseniks who nicked the Pixies quiet/loud thing, laced it with art-school menace and made all the songs last at least 8 minutes. Then, someone - probably the NME - called it 'post rock'. Soundtracked that Zidane-worship film a few years back.
Why? Rock isn't dead. It's just resting, biding its time for some great future resurrection - and it's bands like Mogwai who will eventually roll the rock from the cave. Forget the brass and bass and sass for a second and imagine Bond bursting back through to a multi-tracked guitar tsunami with drums that sound like they're being pummelled by giant pestles.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
The Sun Smells Too Loud.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: The View.
Kanye West
Who? A humble lad from Atlanta, Georgia.
Why? Oh, please. Please , Ms Broccoli and Mr Wilson, let him do it. The song would be fittingly immense and audacious for Bond's long-awaited comeback and he has a strapping contacts book of Bondish potential collaborator vocalists (Rihanna, Fergie, Minaj...). Also, rap is a criminally under-represented genre in the history of Bond tunes.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Devil In A New Dress.
Cut-price choice if he's too busy: Lil Wayne.
Skream & La Roux
Who? Dubstep upstart and Mr Whippy-haired songstress whose collaboration for last year's 'Outside The Box' album - 'Finally' - is pretty much a Bond song in waiting. Go on. Listen to it - and imagine the Bond opening credits over the top.
Why? Because, like all good collaborations, they enhance each other's better qualities and muffle the excesses. And they'd produce something thrilling and futurist with a sly nod to the original dubstep blueprint.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title :
La Roux - In For The Kill.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: The Ting Tings.
Pulp
Who? Blur or Oasis? Trick question. The correct answer was always Pulp. They were the smartest, sexiest and funniest band of the Britpop era - and they've just reformed for what should be a triumphant rack of nation-owning live shows this summer.
Why? Because Jarvis Cocker would revel in the camp challenge of a Bond theme. Because he's already written one (for Tomorrow Never Dies - it was rejected). And because one of their finest songs, This Is Hardcore, plays like a Bond song in film noir trousers.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: The Long Blondes.
Patrick Wolf
Who? Multi-instrumental mentalist who mashes classical and electronic to stir up dizzy but breathtaking synthetic pop symphonies.
Why? Before Bond gets too grisly and gritty and post-Bourne/post-Jack Bauer, how about a bit of the old OTT spy pizazz? We're hearing a monstrous great melodrama that shamelessly brings the glam and runs against the hetero Bond grain.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Wind In The Wires.
Cut-price choice if he's busy: Jamie Lidell.
Lady Gaga
Who? The biggest pop star on the planet right here, right now. Whether you like it or not.
Why? Once she drops this year's audacious sex/gender concept album ('Born This Way'), where next but movies? We respectfully insist Gaga doesn't go gooey for the career path of her idol Madonna. Step away from the camera lens and get on with writing monolithic three-minute bangers with stupid lyrics - and save a slow one for Sam Mendes.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Dance In The Dark.
Cut-price choice if she's busy: Ellie Goulding.
The National
Who? Ohio doom-rockers with an unblinking take on urban alienation, as seen through the haunted eyes of poet/vocalist Matt Berninger.
Why? Berninger's muscular baritone would slice through the Bond schmaltz and season the tone with a musky hint of male vulnerability - ideal for the nascent 007's third outing.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Forever After Days.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Mumford & Sons.
Damon Albarn
Who? Ultra-talented Essex boy, ex-Blur frontman, current Gorillaz frontman. Responsible for one of the Top 10 Greatest Songs Of All-Time Ever ('Tender').
Why? Because he's one of Britain's few true musical geniuses and, as proven by his post-Blur solo career, he can pretty much turn his hand to anything and make it work - cartoon hip-hop, Chinese opera, African lute music, Icelandic film soundtrack... The time has surely come for a worldly, eclectic 007 theme - ideally written on an iPad.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Gorillaz - Cloud Of Unknowing.
Cut-price choice if he's busy: Mark Ronson.
Manic Street Preachers
Who? Welsh agit-rockers with a peerless portfolio of swaggering anthems belted out via the sweet/strident vocals of the Joe Strummer-ish James Dean Bradfield.
Why? They've aged well and remain as relevant and forward-looking as ever (they wrote a song about the impending banking "apocalypse" back in the early '90s). The stadium-sized choruses of last year's 'Postcards From A Young Man' would colour Bond's return with an edgy mix of sexual potency and political thrust.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Some Kind Of Nothingness.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Stereophonics.
James Blake
Who? The most exciting thing to happen to British music since the Arctic Monkeys. A 22-year-old, classically trained pianist influenced by dubstep and Bon Iver. He's technical, playful and soulful.
Why? As music wallows in a mush of auto-tuned urban pop and Glee/X-Factor-inspired karaoke pap, we need individual oddball talents like Blake more than ever. His Feist cover 'Limit To Your Love' smuggled him into the charts, but he has much harder, stranger stuff under the counter - and it'd be bold for Bond to embrace his spacious, minimalist sound.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
To Care (Like You).
Cut-price choice if he's busy: Squarepusher.
Robyn
Who? Swedish electro-diva who's been increasingly hard to ignore since breaking through with 2005 Number 1 'With Every Heartbeat'. Busy girl, too. She released three albums last year.
Why? Gaga has the balls, Robyn has the heart - and an exquisite, typically Swedish (see ABBA) bittersweet pop sensibility that would bind well to Bond's lover/killer contradiction.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Underneath The Heart.
Cut-price choice if she's busy: Cheryl Cole.
The xx
Who? Foundation-school soundscapers whose miraculous, almost embarrassingly intimate debut album has been milked by lazy TV soundtrack buyers. Correctly and justly won the Mercury Prize last year - not that they needed the exposure.
Why? They're masters of subtle, shadowy humanity - illicit encounters, sexual longing, needful connection... Perfect for enhancing the chilly Bond vibe with a glaze of messy emotion. Better make sure the Bond girl is worth getting screwed up over...
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Basic Space.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Cold Cave.
Underworld
Who? Highly respected and ever-popular electronic duo, both now in their 50s (they've been recording together since 1980). Broke out with the widely misunderstood 'Born Slippy' off the back of Trainspotting , enjoyed a deserved resurgence with 2010's surprise critical and commercial hit album 'Barking'.
Why? Because they're practised masters of coaxing soul from synthesisers and they'd do a much better job than Mirwais/Madonna's electronicky effort for Die Another Day . Plus - singer Karl Hyde's surreal lyrical style could lend Bond a teasing, '60s psychedelic retro feel.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Diamond Jigsaw.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Cut Copy.
Sigur Ros
Who? Icelandic prog/post-rock behemoths. Singer Jonsi Birgisson sounds like an alien and sings in a made-up language. Not popular on pub jukeboxes in Taunton.
Why? Because most of their other music has been over-played and over-familiarised by the people who have to put something euphoric-sounding under a happy event in a reality TV show but they can't afford Coldplay. And because 'Festival' sounded amazing at the end of 127 Hours .
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Agaetis Byrjun.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: Coldplay.
Gayngs
Who? Meanwhile, in Minneapolis... A 23-strong band/collective make a low-BPM album in awe of 10CC and retro soft-rock. Joyously, any sense of irony is (accidentally?) lost in the sheer quality. Prince is spotted at their gigs.
Why? In between retooling the 'I'm Not In Love' vibe, Gayngs cheerfully draw inspiration from pretty much any musical genre that takes their fancy. Giving them the gig would rinse the globe-hopping Bond in a swirling stew of multi-ethnic influence.
Song that sounds like it could be a Bond movie title:
Crystal Rope.
Cut-price choice if they're busy: The Polyphonic Spree.
Tom Jones
Who? Welsh fella. Still wears tight trousers despite being 107.
Why? 46 years after his last Bond title theme ( Thunderball ) and with a recent turn in the annoying Glastonbury 'ironic' spot, it's time to give the sweaty, philandering underwear magnet another crack. Although that's not something he's exactly been short of so far - eh, lads? (Er, we mean that in the crude sexual sense, not as a cheap drug reference).
Song that sounds a bit like it could be a Bond movie:
Sexbomb.
Cut-price choice if he's busy: Cliff Richard.
Massive Stalker 2 patch starts chipping away at the notoriously glitchy game's worst problems, including over 80 cutscene problems and nearly 2,000 more bugs
Batman V. Superman star Jesse Eisenberg thinks that playing Lex Luthor in the poorly received film "hurt [his] career in a real way"
Preview Grant Morrison and Matt Fraction's one-page horror stories from Ice Cream Man #43
Massive Stalker 2 patch starts chipping away at the notoriously glitchy game's worst problems, including over 80 cutscene problems and nearly 2,000 more bugs
Batman V. Superman star Jesse Eisenberg thinks that playing Lex Luthor in the poorly received film "hurt [his] career in a real way"
Preview Grant Morrison and Matt Fraction's one-page horror stories from Ice Cream Man #43
