Schindler's IOU
The Original: The amazing true-life story of Oskar Schindler's honourable mission to save 1,200 Jews during the Holocaust of World War II.
The Sequel: A slapstick comedy about Schindler's numerous true-life post-war failed businesses.
You'll laugh as his cement factory crumbles, you'll cry as his business partner abandons him, and you'll cheer as his legacy remains untarnished.
Sample Dialogue : Oskar Schindler: "If this factory ever produces cement that can actually be solidified, I'll be very happy."
The Shawshank Retrial
The Original: Innocent man is sent to prison, where he learns about fear, hope and tax fraud.
The Sequel: The sequel picks up moments after the conclusion of the original Shawshank movie.
The authorities - tipped off by Morgan Freeman's Red - pick up Andy Dufrane on the beach, sending him back to Shawshank, adding 50 years to his sentence for the tax fraud he committed while inside.
He dies in solitary. The end.
Sample Dialogue: Warden: "Get busy dying."
Watchmen 2: Watchmen Babies
The Original: Po-faced slow-mo superhero flick which contains ultra-violence, sex, latex, and still manages to be boring.
The Sequel: A prequel which follows the adventures of baby Dr Manhattan (who's inexplicably already blue and god-like as a baby, despite the events of the first film) and his super-pals, as they fight nappy rash, playschool bullies and a group holiday with their parents.
Sample Dialogue: Adrian Veidt: "We can do so much more. We can save this world... with the right parenting."
Some Like It Cold
The Original: After they witness a mob hit, Joe and Jerry pretend to be ladies in a travelling girl band. Joe falls in love with the singer, Sugar Kane.
The Sequel: After Sugar Kane's death Joe finds that he can't get over her loss, becoming a transvestite to remind him of the time they met. When that doesn't heal his wounds, he digs up her corpse and continues the relationship.
Sample Dialogue: Jerry: "Will you look at that! Look how she moves! It's like Jell-O on springs. Must have some sort of built-in motor or something."
Joe: "She does, I built it myself."
Up 2: Down
The Original: A little old man puts balloons on his house and learns valuable lessons about opening up his heart.
The Sequel: If you thought Up was emotional, wait 'til you get a load of the sequel.
When his father figure Carl Fredricksen eventually dies, Russell goes on a downward spiral of drugs, depression and, eventually, murder.
Using the various skills he learnt as a cub scout, Russell decides to get a whole new set of badges. Made out of human skin.
Sample Dialogue: Russell: "Good afternoon. [ pulls out knife ] Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?"
Ei8ht
The Original: Se7en saw a pesky serial killer annoy Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt by delaying the former's retirement and decapitating the latter's wife.
The Sequel: Morgan Freeman has to visit Brad Pitt in prison to get information on a brand-new serial killer, who leaves magic 8-balls with different messages at the scene of his crimes.
But when Freeman spots an 8-ball in the corner of Pitt's cell, his whole perspective on the case shifts.
Sample Dialogue: Brad Pitt: "I've gone and done it again."
Blade Runner 2: Cool Runners
The Original: Ridley Scott's mediative sci-fi flick questions what it means to be human, defines the soul, and postulates just how awesome would it be to have a sex bot / robot owl.
The Sequel: Harrison Ford and Sean Young drive to Jamica, where they encounter a plot to rig the Olympics using perfect replicant atheletes. Ford and Young team up with a wacky robot sex-owl to take down the villains.
Sample Dialogue : Deckard: [narrating] They don't advertise for bob-sled captains in the newspaper. That was my profession. Ex-cop. Ex-blade runner. Ex-killer. Ex bob-sled captain.
