You might have read this article so far and believed we were being just a little bit harsh toward the animal kingdom. However, we urge you to not be so wet behind the ears and appreciate that animal murder isn't even that bad. After all, if Rare has taught us anything with Viva Piñata, it's that all animals are very definitely full of delicious candy, and thus don't feel pain.
Viva Piñata is the closest gaming has ever gotten to a Jeffery Dahmer simulator, in that it's based around luring unwitting victims into your lair, mating with them, then killing and eating the unsuspecting fools. Quite right, too! We can verify that animals are full of candy, just in case you're feeling skeptical. We recently cracked open our beloved dog, Buckles, and it was all there. It didn't taste very nice, however, and some of the candy burned our tongues. He must not have been a very good dog.
