9 Misheard Director's Cuts

Ronnie Barker's Hellraiser

The Film: In an S&M version of his classic sketch about the British Class system, Barker joins up with John Cleese and Ronnie Corbet.

Dressed in moderate bondage regalia, he stands sandwiched between Cleese, who wears an executioner's garb, and Corbett, in a full Gimp bodysuit complete with breathing straw.

Quote: “I look down on him, because he is a lowly gimp, but I look up to him, because he has a very big whip.”

Wait A Minute… Wasn’t It? Clive Barker.

Lily Allen's Annie Hall

The Film: Fed up of London boys, whom she so regularly lambasts in her song writing, Lily Allen heads to New York, where she meets and falls in love with the adorably ditsy Annie Hall.

Tracing the relationship from its early days to its eventual breakdown, Allen lets her trademark razor tongue loose in describing exactly what went wrong in the relationship, and how none of it was her fault.

Quote: “That sex was the most fun I've ever had without laughing.”

Wait A Minute… Wasn’t It? Woody Allen

Michael Jackson's King Kong

The Film: Michael Jackson’s lovable chimp Bubbles has been hidden from the public for a number of years - this is why.

Susan Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire

The Film: Lowly middle-aged carer Susan Boyle dreams of breaking out of her humdrum existence for a career in showbiz and a place in the limelight in this made for TV biopic.

John Craven's Scream

The Film: When he’s axed from Newsround, John Craven heads way off the rails and sets out to kill teens everywhere, blaming them for not tuning in as the reason for his dismissal.

Karen Carpenter's Escape From New York

The Film: Richard Carpenter has become trapped by a crowd of folk-hungry hippies at a festival in New York, and there’s only one woman for the job; his sister Karen.

Dropped in to the overly friendly and free-loving festival, Karen has only 24 hours to find her brother, before they are due to play a folk festival in Massachusetts.

Quote: “Call me Snake.”

Wait A Minute… Wasn’t It? John Carpenter

Naomi Campbell's GoldenEye

The Film: Naomi Campbell must save the world when the housekeeper she hit in the eye with a Blackberry returns from the optometrist with a top secret GoldenEye, a weapon that could kill dozens.

David Cameron's Avatar

The Film: Desperate to win the next election, Cameron and his Conservatives have poured billions of their own finances into creating genetically modified super-voters, who will lead them to power.