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Art imitates life
Play enough video games, and you start to see parallels with everyday life. I know, I know, most people don't go around fighting magical monsters or embarking on interstellar adventures (but those that do must have a lot of fun). Most people work a job, have a family, and basically do their best at getting by.
Your childhood is one long, unskippable tutorial
From the moment you're born, you're trapped in this long, plodding tutorial where you mostly just sit and watch other people do things. And it's so boring. You're unable to control anything, and it takes years before you're even allowed to move around. What's worse: no one ever seems to remember much of their childhood, so what's the point?
Instead of grinding monsters, you grind jobs
Grinding is a key part of most role-playing games. If you want to advance in the game and be adequately prepared for the challenges that lie ahead, you have to do some grinding. But while video game heroes get to fight vicious monsters and ruthless bandits, we get stuck with flipping burgers, sending e-mails, or sitting through boring meetings.
All the cosmetics and fun extras are paid DLC
Ugh, seriously!? If I want to change out of my boring, default clothes and into, say, an Elvis Presley costume, I have to PAY MONEY? And it doesn't stop there, the developers in both cases will nickel and dime you at every opportunity. Sunglasses? New hairstyle? Fancy suit? All of those cost money, and all they do is make you look a little different.
We have to deal with enemies all the time
Defeating enemies is just as much a part of real life as the daily grind. Some enemies can be swatted down without much thought, other you have to run away from. Some you have to train yourself to defeat, while others are so massive you have no idea how you'll ever beat them.
Victory requires strong party members
Thankfully, if you play your cards right you won't be facing these enemies alone. Every big video game hero - from Mario to Master Chief - has a group of loyal allies at their side to help them out along the way. They can't win the game all by themselves, and neither can we.
The dating sim sections are WAY too complicated
And the worst part is: they're hardly covered in the tutorial, if at all. Successfully navigating a video game relationship typically leads to a big reward for your hero: love, companionship, or simply carnal pleasure. Sometimes it's the ENTIRE objective of the game. So why is something like this not better explained in the tutorial?
Food makes you feel better
If there's one universal truth that video games and real life share in common, it's a love of food. Even food that should be absolutely disgusting. There's that pizza lying on the ground in TMNT, or that roasted chicken lying on the ground in Final Fight; who's leaving all this food on the floor? Eating this stuff should probably kill you - or at least make you feel ill - but instead it heals you.
There's perma-death...
This is a rough design choice. If you make a serious mistake, or simply run out of time, then the game is over. Forever. There are no do-overs, no restarts, and the possibility of post-game content is... debatable. This adds an immense amount of weight to every decision you make, further complicating that class selection process we talked about a few slides back. Hope you liked the one you picked, because choosing another may not be a possibility.
