9 (2009)
The Universe: Post-apocalyptic 1930s
Inhabited By: Soul-bearing ‘stitchpunk’ rag dolls, the Fabrication machine, the cat-beast, the winged creature and all manner of machinery intent on destroying life on Earth.
Travel Agent Spin: Tired of the relative safety of your mundane existence? Why not take an adventure holiday in the exciting, white-knuckle apocalyptic aftermath of yesteryear.
Work up a sweat fleeing from hideously barbaric machine overlords, or cower in fear among the ruins of mid-20 th century civilisation, the choice is yours!
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
The Universe: Oz
Inhabited By: Munchkins, witches, omniscient leaders, tin men, scarecrows, anthropomorphic lions, flying monkeys.
Travel Agent Spin: Bored of the sepia tones of middle-American life? Why not whisk yourself, and your family pet, away to the Technicolor majesty of Oz, only minutes away by tornado!
Once there you’ll be able to take a walking cruise down the Yellow Brick Road, and meet colourful characters of all shapes and sizes along the way – now with free shoes for every guest!
Super Mario Bros. (1993)
The Universe: Dino-world
Inhabited By: Humanoid species evolved from different dinosaurs rather than apes - have managed to create the exact same languages, cities (Dino-hattan) and clothing customs as humans.
Travel Agent Spin: If the fast paced rat race is getting you down, then maybe it’s time to literally get down to Dino-world – exactly like the world you know, but with more dinosaurs!
Also, for the business savvy traveler, a trip could serve as an opportune time to purchase real-estate ahead of the forthcoming merger of our worlds!
The Mist (2007)
The Universe: Un-named, foggy dimension.
Inhabited By: Razor-lined giant tentacles, giant flying insects, giant spiders with acid webbing, a giant mantis thing.
Travel Agent Spin: Not for the feint of heart! Do you seek danger? Peril? Thrills and indeed spills? Then look no further than an expedition into the unknown bounds of The Mist, where pulse-pounding excitement awaits.
The vast reaches of the world are all but discovered, but should you have the steely nerve and brass cajones to enter The Mist, a whole world of adventure is open for you to discover! Please note: No insurance cover possible.
Donnie Darko (2001)
The Universe: Tangent Universe
Inhabited By: Parallel versions of everyone you know, dead people from the future dressed in giant rabbit costumes.
Travel Agent Spin: For the cerebral traveller looking to expand his or her horizons, brush up on theories of quantum mechanics, wormholes and the philosophy of time travel, look no further.
Serious academics, followers of cult fashions and liars need only apply - all pretenders will only find themselves lost in a parallel universe of confusion, frustration and futility. Massive discounts available!
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (2005)
The Universe: Narnia
Inhabited By: Talking woodland creatures, fawns, centaurs, evil witches and flying lions.
Travel Agent Spin: Why spend hours aboard stuffy airliners when a world of adventure is accessible through your antique household furniture? A winter coat is a must, as is a steely-reserve and a revolutionary spirit!
The religiously-sensitive may find the experience somewhat biblical in practice, but focus instead on the talking animals and the chance to join in an epic struggle of good vs. evil, and you’ll have a blast!
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
The Universe: Toon Town
Inhabited By: Cartoons – including a wacky rabbit, his bestiality-committing bombshell wife Jessica, baby Herman and a whole host of faces from the golden age of animation.
Travel Agent Spin: If you’re feeling less than animated why not put a little colour back in your cheeks with a trip to fabulous Toon Town, home of all your favourite cartoon characters.
With fiendishly attractive women, terrifically annoying animals and film-noir subplots, Toon Town has something for everyone – be sure to visit the gift shop for all your essential Acme products!
Alice In Wonderland (1951)
The Universe: Wonderland
Inhabited By: Another land filled with talking wildlife, Wonderland also features talking plantlife and talking inanimate objects.
Travel Agent Spin: This year, forgo the annual trip to Disneyland, and instead inject your life with a sense of Wonder… a hedonistic retreat of drug and drink fuelled adventures, this mind-bending destination is a must-see!
Featuring all-inclusive potions and acid-laced cake, along with daily tea-parties and life-sized chess, Wonderland is a trip alright, one that you’ll want to enjoy again and again!
Back To The Future, Pt. II (1989)
The Universe: Biff-world - alternate future reality
Inhabited By: Your worst enemy, now rich beyond your wildest nightmares and in ownership of pretty much everything.
Travel Agent Spin: Travel aboard our one-of-a-kind custom transport to a world of confusing time-travel paradoxes, and illicit gambling empires run by your homicidal nemesis.
All travellers will be given access to the latest hoverboards, along with complimentary self-tying trainers and self-drying jackets. Each tour will be guided by a delusional scientist type who doesn’t get enough work.
9 is released in cinemas this Friday.
