A brief history of video game vomit
We give polygonal puke its long overdue props
Nothing says confident game design like the ability to programme bits of regurgitated food. Since we've recently been promoting things that look like cocks, we thought we'd walk all the way down Lowbrow Lane and give an official Gamesradar salute to video game puke. So in honour of anyone who's ever upchucked their cookies, here's a comprehensive rundown of gaming's most vile vomit. And when we say 'comprehensive', we mean the ones that had Youtube videos.
Shadow Man
Projectile vomiting really is the Rolls-Royce of throwing up, as ably demonstrated by these fine Shadow Man monsters. Who needs razor sharp claws or semi automatic weaponry when your stomach can make balls of vom capable of melting your face off? Kudos, crappy N64 era baddies, kudos.
Conker's Bad Fur Day
The cartoon squirrel who puts the awesome in vomit... if you have serious problems with spelling. Not content spending hours down his local pisser getting off his adorable face on continental lager, Rare's cute little bugger has to unleash the contents of his stomach on some poor passer-by. Now that's one manly-ass rodent.
Resident Evil remake
Credit to Capcom for taking the classy road when it came to depicting digital puke. While it had no problems showing gamers decapitations, eviscerations and Barry Burton's shitty moustache, the developer drew the line at showing Jill unloading her dinner into a toilet. Instead, it went the dignified off-camera route. Now that's what we call class.
Postal 2
In a game where you can set fire to folk and then piss on them to douse the flames, it's probably no surprise that Postal also included throwing up of epic, stomach-ruining proportions. If you can't watch a priest upchucking their holy breakfast without cracking a smile, you're either emotinally dead or a Cylon.
GTA: San Andreas
Here's a lesson for you kids: eat 18 consecutive buns filled with processed beef, chicken, and most probably rat, and the end result isn't pretty. C'mon, CJ. Killing civillians in cold blood is one thing, but relieving your stomach contents in public? Rockstar, you've crossed the line.
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David has worked for Future under many guises, including for GamesRadar+ and the Official Xbox Magazine. He is currently the Google Stories Editor for GamesRadar and PC Gamer, which sees him making daily video Stories content for both websites. David also regularly writes features, guides, and reviews for both brands too.