Bayonetta
Taking geek fan service to all new ridiculous levels
In a world where videogames are quite often accused of exploitation, Bayonetta goes beyond titillation and into borderline pornography: featuring more crotch shots than a Larry Flint publication, often accompanied by a teasing wink from the lady in black, Sega’s latest heroine flaunts her oversized assets as she dances her way through her missions, favoring as many pelvic thrusts and split-legged moves as possible. All that’s saving Bayonetta’s modesty is a skin-tight catsuit made from her hair. Fortunately for pervs like us, it’s a costume that frequently falls right off.
There’s no doubting the market for this one. As appealing to the eyes as it is to organs lower down, this is Devil May Cry with a sultry porn starlet in place of the cheese-grater-stomach hunks. Hardly surprising given DMC’s creator is in charge. He’s designed a unique slant on a familiar world – one which bears a striking resemblance to Dante’s universe but makes everything that’s gone before seem bland and sensible by comparison.
You can blame that daft hairdo for much of that. Impracticalities aside (it must take an age to straighten) it’s Bayonetta’s most useful feature.Battling angels atop a clock tower as it plummets from the heavens isn’t something best done in your birthday suit, believe us. A quick flick of the head however and that all changes. Those locks unfurl themselves and gain a life of their own.
At one point the hair morphs into a giant fist, scattering any angel unfortunate enough to stray in its path. Another example sees a Pythonesque foot crash down from the sky, crushing everything beneath with its man-sized stiletto heel. Then there’s the guillotine which Bayonetta kicks angels underneath for a spot of impromptu beheading, and the iron maiden which makes Mortal Kombat’s fatalities look like a civilized round of boxing.
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