Bill O'Reilly says Mars has no moons... then where does Doom take place???

Fox News shoutmaster Bill O'Reilly recently said theebb and flow of the tidesis something science can't explain. All theologicaland religious arguments aside, we of course know precisely why tides exist - the moon. So naturally, that lead O'Reilly to ask the mostimportant questionin history - HOW DID THE MOON GET THERE?

Now, we don't have a 100% accurate answer for that. Theprevailing hypothesissays the moon could be a big ol' chunk of Earth that was torn away by a massive impact millions of years ago. Or it could have been plucked from God's Galaxy Garden and placed there just so wolves would have something to yell at. We can debate it forever. But part of O'Reilly's argument is that the moon is unique to Earth, and therefore special.To further the point, he asks"how come Mars doesn't have that?"

Well, now I'm really confused, because I sworeMars had two moons, Phobos and Deimos. But if I trust this talking head instead of researching newson my own, then I musthave beenmistaken my whole life. And if Mars has no moons, then WHERE THE HELL DOES DOOM TAKE PLACE? Does id Software know this? Should I call John Carmack and John Romero and tell them they've been duped by scientists in the pocket of Big Deimos?


Above: OH GOD EVERYTHING IS IN QUESTION NOWWWWWW


Above: Hey wait... Doom'sdepictions of Phobos and Deimoshave mountains and trees... they faked it! Holy shit Mars really doesn't have moons! I amnow forced to ask...


Above: How'd the moon get there?


Above: How'd the moon get there?


Above: How did it get there?


Above: C'mon


Above: How'd it get there?

My mind is made up. Mars must not really have any satellites, and dozens of games throughout history have perpetuated the myth of two phantom moons. Clearly our moon is special. Well ours and the 63 orbiting Jupiter and 62 surrounding Saturn. He didn't mention those,so I guess they're cool.

Feb 2, 2011

Brett Elston

A fomer Executive Editor at GamesRadar, Brett also contributed content to many other Future gaming publications including Nintendo Power, PC Gamer and Official Xbox Magazine. Brett has worked at Capcom in several senior roles, is an experienced podcaster, and now works as a Senior Manager of Content Communications at PlayStation SIE. 

Latest in Action
Yasuke and Naoe ready to fight on the Assassin's Creed Shadows On The Radar thumbnail
On The Radar: Assassin's Creed Shadows coverage hub
Assassin's Creed Shadows Naoe assassinating target with Tanto skill
Assassin's Creed Shadows' first title update is a hotfix with three lines of patch notes and a download size up to 9GB
Assassin's Creed Shadows Nishinomiya Shrine
All Nishinomiya Shrine locations in Assassin's Creed Shadows
Assassin's Creed Shadows riddles Naoe answers
All Assassin's Creed Shadows riddle answers for NPC encounters
GTA 6 trailer screenshots showing lucia in an interview room
"GTA 6 is basically a huge meteor, and we will just stay clear of the blast zone": Publishers are in a frenzy over when to release their games to avoid Rockstar
Assassin's Creed Shadows
Assassin's Creed Shadows has been the series' best launch since Valhalla, but that was "a perfect storm we may never see again," says Ubisoft
Latest in News
Lunar Remastered Collection
"Will today’s players still enjoy a game from 30 years ago?": JRPG icon Kei Shigema says he was thrilled to see Lunar getting a remaster even after all this time
Nick Offerman as Bill and Murray Bartlett as Frank in The Last of Us episode 3
The Last of Us season 2 showrunners tease a "gorgeous" episode akin to season 1’s Emmy-nominated Bill and Frank story: "Just you wait"
The Witcher 4 screenshot with Ciri using sword and sorcery to fight an ancient monster
CD Projekt boss says "cutting-edge single-player games" – you know, like The Witcher 4 and Cyberpunk 2 – will "continue to enjoy great popularity" despite industry shifts
Cyberpunk 2077
Despite releasing exactly zero new games, CD Projekt bagged $120 million in profit for 2024 – the Witcher and Cyberpunk studio's third-best result ever
Muse
Daredevil: Born Again midseason trailer teases Matt Murdock’s violent fight with Muse, including a gory scene straight from the comics
Batman looking over the city during Batman: Arkham City, one of the best PS3 games.
The PS2 Batman Begins game was considered such a "disaster" that Christopher Nolan turned down a Dark Knight-inspired game