See why the star-studded cast of Black Ops 3 Zombies deserve their fate
In Call of Duty: Black Ops 3: Zombies - Shadows of Evil (you have to say the whole thing) Jeff Goldblum and company are trapped in an undead nightmare as punishment for their misdeeds. That's about all the narrative setup we got from the Zombies mode debut trailer. This new prologue video proves that the mysterious "Shadow Man" really wasn't kidding about that "misdeeds" part.
I wouldn't be too bothered to see any of these cretins be devoured by the living dead. But I'll give Treyarch - who established the grand Zombies tradition back in Call of Duty: World at War - the benefit of the doubt, and assume they'll make a fun enough game to keep the quartet breathing and shooting despite their villainy. You could always get one of Black Ops 3's special editions if you'd rather catch up with the original Zombies gang in "The Giant," an exclusive remake of Der Riese from the original campaign.
Oh, who am I kidding? I can't resist Goldblum playing a gun-toting, magic-gumball-popping magician even if he does kill his wife for the insurance payout. You can join his wacky zombie-killing adventures when Black Ops 3 is released on November 6.
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I got a BA in journalism from Central Michigan University - though the best education I received there was from CM Life, its student-run newspaper. Long before that, I started pursuing my degree in video games by bugging my older brother to let me play Zelda on the Super Nintendo. I've previously been a news intern for GameSpot, a news writer for CVG, and now I'm a staff writer here at GamesRadar.