Why you can trust GamesRadar+ Our experts review games, movies and tech over countless hours, so you can choose the best for you. Find out more about our reviews policy.
The problem? Wesley Snipes can't be bothered with Blade. The solution? Introduce two teen-appealing upstarts to spin out an eternal franchise. It may have seemed like a good idea at the time. But how you feel about the finished film depends on whether you're after a campy monster-mash or a serious, kick-ass actioner.
If high-camp was his intention, then it's mission accomplished for David S Goyer, the franchise scribe stepping behind the camera in place of Blade II's Guillermo del Toro. If Blade: Trinity is supposed to be serious, though... Well, that's a joke in itself.
As with recent Marvel misstep The Punisher, Goyer never maintains the right tone; the laugh-with to laugh-at line is dangerously blurred. Parker Posey is a principal offender, chewing scenery while warning male neck-nippers to stop talking about their dicks because "you are provoking my envy". Hmmm...
Similarly crotch-led is Goyer's decision to chuck in a shower scene for a blood-splattered Biel (at least the target audience will be grateful) and - for any unfortunate girlfriends dragged along - plenty of close-ups of Reynolds without his shirt on. The young stars are game: Reynolds is deliberately amusing most of the time, while Biel ably fulfils the role of Photogenic Totty, even if her character is so one-dimensional she can't even muster emotion over the fate of her father (Kris Kristofferson). Goyer also offers some fun new vamp-slaying weaponry: an ultraviolet laser that slices villains asunder and silver blades that slide out of Abigail's boots.
But amidst the sturm-und-drang of the zero-tension action it's hard to care about anyone here and, in keeping with the franchise's formula, the baddie is another pasty, charisma-free white boy just waiting for an ass-whuppin'. (Although Dominic Purcell is at least a bit beefier than Stephen Dorff or Luke Goss.) The Drac/Blade showdown is tragically anti-climactic, while Snipes' snarling, monosyllabic presence aims for "brooding" but hits "bored". It's a target the audience hit easily, too.
A half-witted actioner that mistakes laughs for laughable, while Biel and Reynolds' next-generation double-act is attractive but toothless.
