CliffyB on BioShock: "Fu*k bees"

Sept 17, 2007

Better late than never - Epic's Cliff Bleszinski has reviewed (kind of) the mighty BioShock on his blog, saying some very nice things about it. He even calls it his game of the year, but that's got nothing to do with the fact that it uses Epic's technology or because he's friends with some of the staffers, he points out.

Still there are some points he doesn't like, or can't get his head around. "I don't understand how this brainstorming session went down," he wrote. "Like, I get freezing people and shattering them with your wrench... that's cool... I get setting people ablaze, because, you know, it's pretty funny. (Well, except when it's a monk setting himself on fire on purpose in order to protest a war or something like that.)

In the words of my hair twin Dane Cook - 'Fuck bees. I'll punch bees in the face. Who gets killed by bees?'

"Are your foes even allergic to the bees? What about gluten? Could I throw some wheat at them and watch them swell up like Will Smith in 'Hitch?'

"More importantly, who WANTS to shoot bees? So bullets aren't fun enough, we want to shoot... bees? They're not even killer wasps or spiders. A spider gun would be good because, hey, who wants spiders crawling all over them."

Read the rest here.

Courtesy ofCVG.

CATEGORIES
Latest in Bioshock
Screenshot from Twisted Tower, showing a first-person view of a 'Real Boy Station' vending machine with a freaky clown doll by its side.
OG BioShock director recommends one very BioShock-y Steam Next Fest game that already has 500 "very positive" reviews
BioShock
BioShock's Ken Levine calls his most iconic FPS "a very, very long corridor," but his next game Judas is "made very, very differently"
BioShock Infinite box art
Rumored BioShock 4 screenshot shows off some new powers and a very punchy-looking shotgun
BioShock
Ken Levine says BioShock nearly went nowhere and was almost canceled: "We can't make those games because they don't sell"
Bioshock Infinite
Over 4 years since its announcement, BioShock 4 studio is "ramping up" as dev teases its "really awesome project"
BioShock Infinite
BioShock Infinite dev's advice to NSFW fan artists "would have been so much hornier" in 2023
Latest in News
Hollow Knight
Day 1,251: Hollow Knight's strongest soldier has been fighting the boss version of Silksong star Hornet every day for over 3 years, and watching them master the Metroidvania in real time is truly amazing
Chris Pine and Michelle Rodriguez in Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
The Monopoly movie from Margot Robbie's production company will be written by the Dungeons and Dragons movie directors
The two characters in Split Fiction dressed in fantasy gear each with a dragon on their back
2025's first standout GOTY contenders, Monster Hunter Wilds, Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, and Split Fiction, are coming to GeForce Now
Lego Jurassic World baby dinosaur dolores
New baby Lego Jurassic World dino has not a single thought behind its eyes
Monster Hunter Wilds beta and trailer screenshots
No one is safe from Monster Hunter Wilds' monstrous menus: BioWare lead says he forgot "how…interesting…the matchmaking and world sharing in these games were"
Until Dawn Remake developer “effectively closed” following an unannounced wave of layoffs hitting the company