Final Fantasy 14's Valentine's Day event is too horny even for its community, and that's saying something
And it's all down to Timbermaster Beatin
Valentine's Day is nearly here and love is in the air, which can only mean that it's time for Final Fantasy 14's own spin on the event. While Valentione's Day is putting the 'o' in the season, it's an old, wood-obsessed NPC that's got the community saying 'oh.'
That would be Timbermaster Beatin – maybe you can see where this is going already – who has been a mainstay in Final Fantasy 14 over the years, typically found heading up the Carpenter's Guild over in New Gridania. A lover of wood, he's popped up here and there over the MMO's long lifespan to remind you of that. Repeatedly.
It's very much the same in this year's Valentione's Day event, with Beatin showing up to remind everyone that he very much still loves wood. Maybe it's the context of the event or just what's been said, but it's gotten a heck of a reaction out of fans. I could say more, but it's probably best at this point to show you what the beloved guild master has to say.
Excuse me...??? taking hard wood in hand and stroking it end to end??!!! Beatin pls, not in public 😭😭😭 #FFXIV pic.twitter.com/HJmIBFQI7ZFebruary 1, 2023
CBU3 100% knew what they were cooking with Beatin lmfao. #FFXIV pic.twitter.com/8klyGu6EGRFebruary 1, 2023
does beatin just exist to make dick jokes pic.twitter.com/wHldeL3IpcFebruary 1, 2023
the fact that beatin, the carpenter guild leader, is openly gay and constantly makes dick jokes and expresses his love for wood while in the same sentence mentioning how tiresome it is to clean up blood.. gridanian elves are on a different level pic.twitter.com/hGzDzJ4OSVFebruary 1, 2023
Anyway, if you fancy doing the event for yourself – Timbermastin Beatin or not – you can head over to Old Gridania and chat with Lisette de Valentione. You’ll go through a short quest that’s not entirely wood related and get a swanky new outfit to show for it. There’s also an event-exclusive emote and item if that takes your fancy. The event kicked off yesterday and runs to February 15, so you’ve got bags of time.
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Iain joins the GamesRadar team as Deputy News Editor following stints at PCGamesN and PocketGamer.Biz, with some freelance for Kotaku UK, RockPaperShotgun, and VG24/7 thrown in for good measure. When not helping Ali run the news team, he can be found digging into communities for stories – the sillier the better. When he isn’t pillaging the depths of Final Fantasy 14 for a swanky new hat, you’ll find him amassing an army of Pokemon plushies.