For 14 grueling years, a single question has dominated the inner machinations of my mind like a black hole in a library. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder, sometimes for hours at a time, how long it would take to climb an Empire State Building-sized ladder in Demon's Souls. So I'm pleased and frankly relieved to report that this important matter can finally be put to rest.
It's nine minutes and four seconds. That's how long it would take to climb an Empire State Building-sized ladder in Demon's Souls. We finally know this for an absolute fact thanks to a new video from YouTuber and Souls sleuth Thens, made with assistance from fellow scholars King_Bore_Haha and Admiralwispy.
King_Bore initially speculated that such a climb would take just over 11 minutes, using some "rough math" that spawned one of the most glorious images ever loosed upon the Internet.
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pic.twitter.com/ncqmfklm4iJanuary 7, 2024
The plot thickened when they realized that "the footage I used to get player climbing speed was compromised and made me think climbing speed was slower than it actually was." My entire worldview, shaken.
Fortunately, Admiralwispy managed to extend a working in-game ladder model straight through the Demon's Souls skybox and into Boletarian airspace, allowing Thens to time the climb the good old-fashioned way: one painstaking rung at a time. But Austin, I hear you ask, is the footage of the historic climb set to the Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater theme? You bet your ass it is. What a thrill.
The best part, aside from my now-unburdened subconscious, is that this experiment also answered another burning question: how long would it take to hit the ground if you fell off an Empire State Building-sized ladder in Demon's Souls? The answer? About 13 seconds. That's not one, but two quantum leaps forward in FromSoftware science, folks. Next up: if you fashioned an umbrella from the meaty veil of Bloodborne's Blood-Starved Beast, would it actually be waterproof?
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