One mastermind Baldur's Gate 3 player has proven that there's one ultimate way to cheese the RPG from start to finish after all - quite literally, as a wheel of cheese.
This article contains story spoilers for Baldur's Gate 3's second and third acts.
YouTuber Bouch, a genius Baldur's Gate 3 fan best known for wild challenge runs, is back with another ridiculous playthrough proving that the RPG can indeed always get sillier. From players beating the RPG as four cats to Bouch now doing so as a rolling wheel of cheese, the shenanigans are never-ending and I love it. In his cheesy new run, Bouch starts by explaining that "yep," he's "beating Baldur's Gate as a cheese" since he feels that "every other cool idea has been exhausted."
- 5,000 gold, 2,500 hours, and one priceless scroll: Baldur's Gate 3 player cooks up a "Midas run" by turning the RPG's bosses into solid gold trophies, because "why not"
- 30 years later, Fallout creator Tim Cain is searching for a legendary D&D player who cheesed an entire competitive dungeon with a lightning-fast Monk build
Before he can play as a cheese wheel, Bouch first has to mod his own game to allow for such a polymorph - because, you know, there's not exactly an abundance of cheese-related mods available on Nexus. Once his Tav and companions are lean, mean, cheese-wheelin' machines, Bouch notes that the party can only do a few things: "We can jump, we can punch people for one damage, and we can leave behind a smelly cloud." In other words, they can't really do anything at all (unless you count crop dusting enemies as cheese).
Unfortunately, Bouch also can't equip any armor or items, nor can he use normal actions, reactions, or spells, essentially leaving leveling up useless. With "a miserable 10 base AC" and one whole HP to boot, the YouTuber says that the cheese wheel form would render any run "impossible" if not for one thing that still applies normally to a polymorphed character - their passive features. Thankfully, "there just so happens to be a class that has a metric ton of them and specializes in unarmed attacks."
That class is none other than the notoriously overpowered monk, which Bouch plays as this run. At just level one, his character receives passive buffs that give damage and stat increases as well as a handy bonus action allowing for extra attacks. The only problem left over is that he has just one HP, but Bouch explains that this is easily remedied thanks to the cheese wheel's smelly cloud ability which disables opponents' use of actions. With his whacky build all ready to go, the YouTuber is finally able to roll off into the first act.
From here, Bouch learns a few things; NPCs aren't very keen to talk to sentient food, cheese wheels can dig up treasure, and most importantly, Withers straight up refuses to acknowledge the polymorphed party which means no respecs and no resurrections without scrolls. Despite such setbacks, Bouch cheeses his way through the goblin camp, traverses the Underdark, and rolls through the Mountain Pass into the second act's Shadow-Cursed Lands. There, Bouch discovers that he has to click and drag his torch the entire way to avoid the curse's effects.
Once he reaches the Gauntlet of Shar, Bouch hits his first real wall as a cheese wheel - he can't actually proceed to the Nightsong without changing out of the stinky form. When he defeats Balthazar and tries to free the Nightsong, he has to drop the cheese wheel disguise again. The YouTuber notes that these points are sadly two of "a few" times he has to swap back to proceed, but considering everything else, I personally don't count them against his impressive run. Besides, his Tav still appears as a cheese wheel in cutscenes.
Bouch successfully beats Ketheric and Myrkul with explosives before heading into the third act - where his cheese wheel (kind of) becomes a mind flayer. The final act is definitely the silliest, with the YouTuber tearing through Gortash, Orin, and the Netherbrain as a humble wheel of cheese. Considering the times that Bouch is forced to swap his Tav out of the form, he concludes that "Baldur's Gate is not beatable as a cheese - but you can get pretty damn close." If you want to see it all unfold for yourself, his video is worth a watch in full as there are plenty more chaotic, cheesy moments to enjoy.
