Above: They don’t even fit in our column
The next one’s a bit more subtle. Just like you’d never question that Chewy Chips Ahoy are better than regular Chips Ahoy, you know that Lara Croft has the sexiest legs of any fictional tomb raider. What makes them so sexy? It’s probable that after giving her normal, non-sexy legs,the concept artistsquickly erased their mistake, made them longer and slimmer and then high-fived each other and ate some Chewy Chips Ahoy.
Take a look at this comparison between in-game Lara and her human counterpart, Angelina Jolie. See where Angelina’s legs start? See where Lara’s start? She’s an ass on sticks.
Left: Human
Right: Possibly the result of a stretchy medieval torture device
These aren’t technically limbs, but they were too amusing (and necessary as filler) to not include. Apparently the only way to represent torsos on the N64 and PS1 was with giant triangles. Smaller, less insane-looking triangles were absolutely out of the question.
Above: “GRR – I’M GONNA SLAP YOU WITH MY TINY HANDS JUST AS SOON AS I GET THIS GIANT YIELD SIGN REMOVED FROM MY CHEST!”
Above: “Drat! I shouldhave known that having my arms replaced with accordions would negatively affect my ability to hold a gun!”
Above: Look, it’s a photo ofRichard Garriotttaped onto an inflatable punching clown!
This one’s a bit of a straggler. I was going to include it in the giant armed black guy section, but since these arms look more like undiscovered deep sea creatures than arms,I figured they deserved their own category of failure.
Above: Not only was Daikatana a massive commercial failure, it looked stupid!
