Invertebrates go on killing spree thanks to energy juice
Trying to sell us stuff in: Worms 3D
Apparently, sentient war-hardened worms love to slurp down a bit of Red Bull before they go into battle. Sod using Holy Hand Grenades or exploding sheep to blow away enemy mud-munchers. All we need is a few sips of taurine-based liquid goodness.
Sims get Alienware PCs to while away the hours
Trying to sell us stuff in: The Sims 2
This is EA at the naughty height of its product-placing ways. Not content with devouring hundreds of hours of our lives with the horrendously addictive life sim, it saw fit to give our little make believe people real life products. Real life products like a cutting edge PC that most likely embarrassed whatever rig we were running the Sims on at the time. Subsequently making us go out to endulge a ridiculous impulse purchase. Hey, we were glad to do it. We ain't having no Sim besting us in the PC department. What are we, communists?
Sam Fisher makes sure he has minty fresh breath with real life gum
Trying to sell us stuff in: Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
Sam Fisher is a bus pass-wielding badass, no doubt. But we must admit to losing a little respect for him every time he pauses to freshen his breath mid top secret mission. We're sure those Airwaves make your breath smell ace and all, Sam. But next time, how about spending less time trying to peddle gum on us and more creating a satisfying ending for the first time in your series' history? Just a suggestion.
Tony Hawk endorses phone for all our skating needs
Trying to sell us stuff in: Tony Hawk's Project 8
The Birdman didn't get to be one of the most stinking rich sportsmen in history without delving into a little product endorsement in between all the ollies and 900s. His games are no different, with Project 8's Nokia 93 phone helping us navigate its career mode and gander at skating videos. Still, it's nowhere near as offensive as trying to make us buy a tacky 100 buck plastic board, eh? For shame Activision. For shame.
Mobster quenches thirst with every licensed beverage known to man
Trying to sell you stuff in: Yakuza 3
The little slice of Tokyo Kiryu Kazuma calls home in Yakuza 3 is scarily authentic. Fully working Sega arcades, an exhaustive array of shops and literally every licensed drink in the history of throat refreshment. If Kaz isn't healing himself with some C.C. Lemon or Boss Coffee, he's belting out Karaoke tunes while slowly cooking his liver thanks to Suntory Whiskey.
Above: We couldn't actually find a picture of the in-game C.C. Lemon, but we're pretty sure its inclusion goes something like this
Apr 8, 2010
