iPad reviews of the week: Bumpy Road, Storm in a Teacup, Hector: Badge of Carnage, Candy Train
Alluring platformers, plus a lewd adventure and a revived PopCap relic
Game: Hector: Ep1 HD – We Negotiate With Terrorists
Price: $6.99/£3.99
Size: 375MB
Buy it now from the iTunes store:US/UK
The iPad has rightly proven itself a proper destination for the kinds of point-and-click adventure games that have flourished once more in recent years, and in many ways, the first episode of Hector: Badge of Carnage is just like Telltale Games' many other releases, including the recent Sam & Max games and the Back to the Future series. You'll navigate through scenes via a combination of dialogue and discovery, often utilizing or combining items to solve puzzles. On the other hand, none of those other games starred a disgusting buffoon of a cop that wakes up pantsless in a jail cell, references gonorrhea, and haggles with the prostitutes outside the station.
Indeed, the first episode of this intended trilogy – titled We Negotiate with Terrorists – showcases a very different style of humor than we're used to in these types of games; one that centers on lewd dialogue, highly suggestive content, and tossed-off insults. But Hector: Badge of Carnage is thankfully more than just a cesspool of toilet humor – it's actually pretty funny, as the British town of Clapper's Wreake is depicted as a fallen wonder beset by incompetent law enforcement and depraved actions. And as Hector, you're guilty of both, but that doesn't prevent you from doing your job in your own unique way, heaving one-liners at a terrorist who's taken hostages in an effort to return the city to its former glory. But all you seem to care about is tea.
What unfolds is a race across the city to meet the demands of the hostage-taker, who requests that you fix the clock tower, shut down the porn shop, and listen to the suggestions of a rambler in the park. Expectedly, these situations toss you into the sometimes-confounding genre scenarios that force you to examine everything, talk to everyone, find items, combine them, and then often repeat all of the above to get anywhere. It can be exhausting to some, but point-and-click fans will find themselves right at home with Hector, and the adult humor – it's the only game we've played where "butt pube" is uttered by an in-game character, not just a 14-year-old on the other side of the headset – may draw in players otherwise perplexed by the genre.
Game: Candy Train
Price: Free
Size: 14.1MB
Buy it now from the iTunes store:US/UK
Candy Train is the second release from PopCap's new 4th and Battery label, which lets the famed casual developer toss out quicker concepts without worrying about the impact on the larger brand. However, unlike the first release (Unpleasant Horse), Candy Train doesn't feature a flying equestrian who sends his fellow horses into a horrifyingly blood pit of spinning blades. Different strokes, we guess. But like that earlier title, Candy Train is also both free and universally playable, while also being lightly entertaining. All those things in mind, it's hard not to suggest a download.
Like another of this week's picks, Bumpy Road, Candy Train offers a leisurely play experience, in this case letting you guide a train endlessly around the tracks by spinning the pieces into the correct order. It starts simply enough and takes a while to pick up, but after several minutes, you'll start encountering routes that don't go anywhere and nearby pieces that drop out with little warning, leaving you scrambling to reroute the colorful train before it crashes. You can speed up the train to cut down on the waiting game when your track's good to go, but don't get overzealous with the throttle, lest you want to see the S'Mores Car smashed into the grass. And really, who'd want such a horrible thing?
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Ultimately, Candy Train won't likely be tremendously exciting for seasoned gamers – unless you tackle the Expert mode, in which case good luck – but this breezy little download offers another interesting artifact in both the history and ongoing evolution of PopCap. Case in point: this game was originally released years ago as a web game, then disappeared into time; that is, until a PopCap employee revived it on a whim and started porting it to iOS. Like Unpleasant Horse, it lacks online leaderboards or remarkably long-lasting or varied entertainment, but this totally free game offers light fun for fans of trains and tile puzzles alike.
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