Their words, not ours
The most outspoken game developers and industry figures are only human--and like all humans, they occasionally err. In the heat of the moment, people can tend to lash out, maybe make some statements they wish they could take back. Once the moments passed, some might regret a harsh choice of words or misplaced aggression directed at adoring fans. But when you say something you probably shouldnt have said, there's really no going back to the way things were.
Like a herd of computer-savvy elephants, the Internet never forgets. These are some of the most seething, snarky, or just plain vicious statements uttered by the people who make the games you love. Whether the speakers have remorse for their choice of words or embrace the hatred in both arms, all these quotes might seem... regrettable.
"The Wii is a piece of shit! ...[Nintendo, please] make a console that doesn't suck ass."
- Spore developer Chris Hecker rants about the Big N's console-making abilities
"9$ for a game like FEZ is a STEAL. i should be charging you 90$ you fucking ingrates."
- Fez creator Phil Fish ponders the pricing of his first commercial game
"Fuck that loser."
- Diablo III lead designer Jay Wilson, in response to criticisms made by Diablo II designer David Brevik
"Do you eat shit?"
- Hideki Kamiya responds to a question posed by Kotakus Luke Plunkett with a question of his own
"REPEAT: DON'T WHINE ABOUT CAPCOM'S GAME TO ME. AS I'VE SAID 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000TIMES, I DON'T FUCKING CARE."
- Platinum Games' Hideki Kamiya reminding his Twitter followers that he no longer works at Capcom
"FUCK OFF ALL EXCLUSIVE IDIOTS"
- Hideki Kamiya gives a blanket response to everyone upset at Bayonetta 2 being a Wii U exclusive
"It's amazing for a role playing game, because most role playing games are shit!"
- Peter Molyneux attempts to elucidate what makes Fable 2 better than The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion
"Ive met virtually no one in our industry who I think is close to as good a game designer as I am. Im not saying that because I think Im so brilliant. What Im saying is, I think most game designers really just suck, and I think theres a reason why."
- Ultima creator Richard Garriott on the industry as it stands today
"Players please, give us a chance. Judge our games based on what they are. Judge the DLC based on what it is. Stop thinking you're a producer and telling us when and where we should be building our content."
- Former BioWare designer Christina Norman telling gamers what to think
"NeoGAF and other forums like this that don't have good management are not only hurting society and hurting the videogame industry, they're in decline, and they need to reform quickly before people stop listening to them."
- Silicon Knights president Denis Dyack after being banned from NeoGAF
"If game critics were really critics, there would be a lot of discussion about Starseed Pilgrim now... instead of AC3 or Tomb Whatever."
- Braid creator Jonathan Blow wondering aloud on Twitter why no one is covering Starseed Pilgrim
"SO FUCKING SICK of artsy fartsy in this industry. Get fucking over yourselves bitches."
- God of War creator David Jaffe discussing developers who value narrative over gameplay
"I hope Kotaku fucking puts your ass out of business, wanna be fucktards."
- David Jaffe, blogging in response to a derogatory line in a Joystiq article
"I don't think it even needs saying, but people should stay away from Tekken. Nothing left to say. I just don't want them to disappoint me anymore. It's so annoying. Please don't annoy me anymore."
- Tomonobu Itagaki, creator of the Dead or Alive series, expresses his disdain for Namco Bandais Tekken franchise
"The one OMGPOP employee who turned down joining Zynga was the weakest one on the whole team. Selfish people make bad games. Good riddance!"
- OMGPOP CEO Dan Porter, decrying former employee Shay Pierce for declining the Zynga buyout
"You're an insane idiot."
- Mojang owner Markus "Notch" Perrson, in response to Dan Porters tirade (see previous slide)
"You're all a bunch of fucks. It just so happens that I get paid to treat you like it. It's fucking awesome."
- Former StarCraft 2 professional Greg "IdrA" Fields makes the forum post that would get him fired from Team Evil Geniuses
"I shit your salary, bro! I wipe my ass with your salary."
- Call of Duty professional player Adam "Killa" Sloss, embodying everything you think about CoD players while spouting the kind of trash talk that lost him his sponsorship
"Deal with it."
- Former Microsoft employee Adam Orth informs Xbox fans of what they should do if they're worried about an always-online console, destroying his career in the process
"It's difficult to talk about Nintendo, because we don't look at their console as being a competitor."
- Sony Corporation president and CEO Kazuo "Kaz" Hirai, offering reasons as to why he believes Sony was on top in 2009
"The Xbox--again, I can't come up with one word to fit. You need a word that describes something that lacks longevity."
- Kaz Hirai slamming his rivals once again
"Our view of the Game Boy experience' is that it's a great babysitting tool--something young kids do on airplanes, but no self-respecting twenty-something is going to be sitting on an airplane with one of those."
- Sony Computer Entertainment America CEO Jack Tretton explaining why he doesnt feel threatened by Nintendo handhelds
"Nintendo knows its target audience, because it has really narrowed that down; and it's pretty much defined by a boy or girl's ability to admire Pokemon."
- Former SCEE executive vice president Phil Harrison, explaining Nintendo's strategy
"Fortunately we have a product for people who aren't able to get some form of connectivity. It's called Xbox 360."
- Former Xbox president Don Mattrick tells anyone who opposes Xbox One's old always-online requirements to go eat cake
"I think we would have been embarrassed to do what our competitors are currently doing."
- Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime, commenting on the existence of Kinect and PlayStation Move at the height of the Wii's popularity
"I think we've definitely been able to instill in the culture the skepticism and pessimism and fear that you should have in an economy like we're in today."
- Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick discussing how he manages employees
Hate leads to suffering
So, did we miss any of your favorite game developer outbursts? Got some particularly scathing lines you can dredge up? Share and share alike--because even if we forgive these developers' hurtful words, remembering their moments of pure hate is pretty funny.
And if you're looking for more awesome quotables, check out The 100 best video game quotes of all time and Gaming quotes that defined 2012.
An earlier version of this article originally appeared on this site on May 6, 2013.
