Oh no, everyone's in horny jail over the new Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom trailer

The final Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom trailer confirmed the long-awaited return of the iconic villain Ganondorf, saw our hero Link team up with allies ala Hyrule Warriors, and made fans (perhaps irresponsibly) hopeful for a playable Zelda, but as ever, all anyone can talk about is how hot everyone is.

If you've been around the block as many times as I have, you saw this coming right from the moment Ganondorf's official artwork was revealed. The dude's built like an armored tank with sick tats and intricate jewelry, and his fire-red beard/ponytail combo would make Jason Momoa jealous. Never mind that he's an unambiguously evil Gerudo warlock (that makes him hotter); Ganondorf's a solid ten, and it makes his return after 17 long years all the more thrilling. That said, it isn't just the legendary big bad fans are thirsting for, it's everyone - well, everyone except for poor ol' Link.

Here are just a few reactions from the internet's ever-reliable hornification of the new Tears of the Kingdom trailer. Spoiler: Not even the Lynels are safe.

This could go on and on, but we'll leave it there. Point is, no longer is the internet's interminable thirst for unconventionally attractive video game characters limited to tall vampire ladies and daughters of the underworld, it's now expanded to include literally any living thing with a symmetrical face and good hair. In totally unrelated news, see y'all later today for the Final Fantasy 16 State of Play.

Here's where you can pre-order The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom in case you're in the mood.