P2 review

Hey, did we miss P1? Not to worry: if it’s anything like P2, it’s old rope anyway. Actually, ‘P2’ is an underground parking-lot level where no one can hear Rachel Nichols scream. It’s late on Christmas Eve and in a Home Alone-meets-Psycho set-up, Nichols’ corporate ace Angela is kidnapped by security wacko Thomas (Wes Bentley), whose hopeless devotion to Ange involves a guard dog and chains... First-time fright-maker Franck Khalfoun directs the script by French schlock-heads Grégory Levasseur and Alexandre Aja efficiently, but it’s basic stalked-woman schtick at its core, albeit with some welcome if rote table-turning. The shadowy setting tingles the fear glands, but a brain-sucking litany of mobile-phone malfunctions and spluttering cars slowly skewers any fresh scares. Then Nichols’ gutsy heroine gets drenched. Why? Don’t ask, just file under ‘damp squib’.