What happened to your pants?
Theres a lot said about gamings depiction of women, and with good reason. For all the talk of sex positivity and the empowerment of sexuality, theres a long history of objectified digital ladies. And Im sure that regrettable lineage of underdressed women has you thinking the same thing as me: Where are all the nearly nude men in gaming?
Purely in the interest of equality, I went searching all over the internet for sexy, scantily clad gaming dudes. After sifting through A LOT of scandalous fan art, I finally found a handful of hunks that reach for similar heights of fanservice as women like Bayonetta. Just to clarify, these are dudes who not only wear very little, but actually appear intentionally provocative, as opposed to power-fantasy musclebound brutes like Kratos. Without further ado, here are the most shockingly underdressed men in gaming...
Dead or Alive 5s Ein in Incubus garb
The Dead or Alive games are (in)famous for one thing, and it isnt balanced gameplay. The series has been cashing in on the appeal of its buxom female cast for years, and the majority of Dead or Alive 5s DLC is made up of a near endless number of sexy costumes. For the most part, the guys of DOA5 are left with jokey downloadable attire like Santa Claus and his reindeer, but this alternate look of Eins doesnt seem intended for laughter.
Now, the incubus his costume refers to is basically the lady-tempting equivalent of a succubus, not the awful rock band. That said, it doesnt seem all that satanic to me. All the leather, red nail polish, and novelty horns look more like he bought a Sexy Devil outfit for Halloween. Eins Incubus look is still a far cry from the flowers and string the ladies are bedecked in for DLC, but its still nice to see that some of the DOA guys can strut their stuff.
Castlevania Judgments Simon Belmont
I wouldnt describe any of the Castlevania characters as sexy during the 8-bit era, but things took a turn on PlayStation. Not only did games like Symphony of the Night take clear inspiration from Metroid titles, but everybody got a whole lot prettier. Nowhere is that shift in design more obvious than with Simon Belmont. By the time he appeared in Castlevania Judgement, he had taken his whole whip wielding motif much farther than anyone expected.
Much like Eins Incubus attire, Simons Judgment apparel is a lot of belts and leather wrapped around an exposed torso. Credit for the design goes to concept artist Ayami Kojima. She worked on most Castlevania titles from Symphony onward, and Kojima clearly has skill with crafting attractive men, though most werent as kinky as Belmont in Judgement. His short pants and tattooed midriff are definitely a change from the heavy armor of the original NES box art. You have to think Dracula would even be a little uncomfortable if Simon showed up wearing that.
Street Fighter 3s Gil and Urien
Street Fighter has its share of underdressed guys, from the handsome psychopath Vega to the bearish wrestler Zangief, but they cant really compare to this duo from Street Fighter 3. Brothers Gil and Urien are both leaders of a dangerous cult, with Gil making himself the messianic figure as Urien tries to usurp control. Both have the power of Greek gods, and the bodies to match, as you can no doubt see. Seriously, how can Ryu keep a straight face when battling either of those guys?
The two are wearing virtually nothing, not even shoes, though whats a little foot pain to a god? If anything, their sole garment - one small posing pouch apiece - have the effect of emphasising their nakedness. Street Fighter 4s big bad, Seth, is fully nude, but is as smooth as an action figure below the waist, effectively removing sexual connotations. Less so with Gil and Uriens body wrappings, which effectively works as both sacred and scandalous garb. Itd be sexy if the two werent so into kidnapping and world conquering.
Killer is Deads David
Goichi Suda51 Suda and his team at Grasshopper create strange games, perpetually the result of their creator's lifelong obsession with punk rock, pro wrestling, and horror films. Even his lesser works, like Killer Is Dead, still offer a more distinct world than youll find in many other games. I mean, how many other action titles feature an arch enemy who exclusively wears gold chains and lives in a palace on the moon?
David is the big bad of Killer Is Dead, a self-styled lunar king, bedecked in naught but the gilded dental floss and thong befitting of that status. It shows you how nuts the whole game is that David can dress this way without anyone commenting on it. Killer is Dead garnered some controversy for its raunchy dating minigames, but Davids garb somehow missed the headlines. Ironically, said minigame makes players work to see the dates in their underwear, while David is dressed down from the outset. Thats very charitable to players, no?
Metal Gear Solid 2s Raiden
These days Raiden is fully accepted as one of gamings elite stars, but fan reaction wasnt so charitable when he first appeared. Most players were apoplectic that he replaces fan-favorite Solid Snake - up til then the lone protagonist of the Metal Gear Series - so early in the game. Konami only made it worse by not revealing that was the case ahead of release. Unlike the grizzled Snake, Raiden is a pretty boy whos much more sexualized than his predecessor. I mean, Snake didnt have to stand around with just a straw obscuring his penis, did he?
Raidens stripped down torture scene, followed by his nude escape, rapidly became one of the most talked about scenes in gaming. And I get why: its easy to admire Raidens acrobatic skills as he does cartwheel kicks while covering himself with his hands, though I think some fans werent ready for the character to be so exposed. Most western fans werent prepared for such nakedness. This might explain why Raiden became much more popular when he exchanged his snow-white body for a gunmetal grey cyborg death machine
Devil May Cry 3s Dante
Devil May Cry star Dante has always looked more like a 80s glam metal singer than a paranormal investigator. Seriously, just about any of his outfits would fit on the cover to a Poison album, but Dantes standard garb in Devil May Cry 3 takes it to a whole new level. He keeps his signature red leather duster, and this time hes going shirtless underneath, save for the strap right across his chest.
Just like with Capcom stablemates Gil and Urien, the leather line situated on Dantes upper torso makes his shirtlessness more pronounced. The coats accessory draws the eye much more than an unobstructed view would. Of course, if you prefer to see Dante go fully topless, DMC3 offers that as an alternate costume, though you have to finish the game first before you unlock your just desserts - and thats no simple task even on the Easy setting.
Vagrant Storys Ashley and Sydney
If youre ever thinking of digging up Final Fantasy 7, please do me the favor of playing Vagrant Story first. That games been underrated from day one, and with apologies to writers of Cloud/Sephiroth fan fiction, Vagrant Story has sexier guys as well. Unfortunately, thanks to the limitations of technology, their outfits could only really be appreciated when you look at the concept art.
When you see the muddy textures and jagged polygons of the PSone game, it might not be immediately obvious lead character Ashley is wearing bottomless chaps, but the official art confirms it. Meanwhile, his rival Sydney is channeling David Bowie with an emaciated look and low-hanging pants that must require magic to keep from staying on. This game needs an HD remake so people can truly appreciate those designs! And also, you know, to play it or whatever.
Its raining men
So those are the most ludicrously underdressed gaming guys I could find, but Im always looking for more examples (purely for research). If I missed any unclothed examples, tell me all about them in the comments!
In the market for more thrills? Check out our list of every Adults Only game and games that got recalled and the remarkable reason why.
