Rumble Roses XX
Like Desperate Housewives taken to 'the max'
There goes our dignity. Thanks to our brand new, God-sized TV, people as far as half a mile away were looking over and tutting indignantly as we helped two barely-clothed, huge-norked girls tie themselves in sweaty, fleshy femiknots.
But - honestly - Rumble Roses XX is more than just a polygon Playboy. Coded up with the help of Yuke's, the team behind almost all the WWE games, it's a righteous rassler in its own right.
Uncomplicated stuff, sure - just a couple of buttons unlock the 20 girls' slew of punches, throws, suplexes, elbow-drops and leap-from-the-rope-and-kick-in-the-heads.
But we sampled a massive variety of modes, including two-vs-two tag-teaming, street fights, and a Queen's Match where the loser is punished with a forfeit. Like getting drenched with a water pistol. Or doing aerobics. You see?
Still, amusing as it is to watch one pretty girl smashing another's skull in with an electric guitar - and the fighter models, while not of DOA4 quality, are impressive - Rumble Roses XX is a thorny one all right.
There's probably a decent fighter hidden somewhere amid the stodgy controls, stop-start animation and interminable loading times, but we didn't see much of it.
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Customisable hips and breasts aren't much consolation either. Live play might save it, though - like all wrestlers, Rumble Roses should be a blast with mates - and create mode allows you to adjust boob size.
So that's good, right?