Shaolin Soccer review

Why you can trust GamesRadar+ Our experts review games, movies and tech over countless hours, so you can choose the best for you. Find out more about our reviews policy.

Hilarious, hyper and madder than a bottle of herrings, Stephen Chow's chopsocky sports comedy is finally in cinemas after a lengthy stay on the dusty shelves of Miramax. During its time in chokey, Harvey Scissorhands has given the movie a good going-over - - a shave, a haircut, a decent English-language dub - - and the result is as rough-edged and frantic as a lunchtime five-a-side match. Hong Kong purists can hunt down Chow's original on DVD import, but why bother? This isn't the sort of film that deserves or needs the kind of cultural reverence commanded by, say, Zhang Yimou's Hero. Told in a knockabout style complete with freewheeling flashbacks, kung-fu lifestyle tips and impromptu dance numbers, Shaolin Soccer is Bruce Lee meets Beckham with a liberal sprinkling of Matrix stunts. The outstanding soccer sequences alone are reason enough to put down your cash, the rules of physics a mere annoyance in these insanely staged grudge games. Strikers bounce across the turf like gazelles, goalkeepers spontaneously combust and penalty kicks plough furrows of fire across the pitch. The action is composed with a palette of day-glo pink and pea-green that reinforces the chintzy feel.

Elsewhere, the humour veers between parody and slapstick and occasionally strays into mean-spirited and laddish territory, while the team's coach, Golden Leg Fung (Man Tat Ng), is an obsequious cultural stereotype who soon becomes tiresome. But these are small niggles in a gloriously stupid experience.

With bigger balls than Wimbledon and a heart to match, Shaolin Soccer delivers exactly what it promises: a mainline rush of silly footie fun.

The Total Film team are made up of the finest minds in all of film journalism. They are: Editor Jane Crowther, Deputy Editor Matt Maytum, Reviews Ed Matthew Leyland, News Editor Jordan Farley, and Online Editor Emily Murray. Expect exclusive news, reviews, features, and more from the team behind the smarter movie magazine. 

Latest in Comedy Movies
John Cena in Barbie
John Cena comedy Coyote Vs. Acme might come out after all, over a year after it was controversially shelved
Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore 2
29 years later, Happy Gilmore 2 trailer sees Adam Sandler return to the course with familiar faces – and confirms release date
Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jonah Hill, and Michael Cera in Superbad
Seth Rogen says Sony wouldn't let Jonah Hill use a PlayStation in Superbad as his character was too "reprehensible": "They're like, 'We can't have him interact with our products'"
Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan in Freakier Friday
Freaky Friday 2 trailer promises more body-swap hilarity from Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan in long-awaited sequel
Jenna Ortega as Astrid Deetz in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice 2 star Jenna Ortega would love to star in another classic horror comedy franchise: Gremlins
This is Spinal Tap
First Spinal Tap 2 teaser reveals release date for comedy sequel that’s over 40 years in the making
Latest in Reviews
Zombicide box featuring stylized art of survivors fighting zombies
Zombicide 2nd Edition review: "Like a zombie flick brought to tabletop"
Razer Handheld Dock with Steam Deck sitting on cradle, pink and yellow RGB lighting on, and Alienware monitor in background with Tomb Raider Trilogy gameplay on screen.
Razer Handheld Dock review: “Your Steam Deck will ride shiny and Chroma"
Photographs of the Agricola board game in play
Agricola review: "Accurate representation of the highly competitive and often unstable world of agriculture"
Photos taken by writer Rosalie Newcombe of the Shure MV7i microphone, within a pink and white themed room.
Shure MV7i review - convenience and excellence rolled into one superb sounding package
Key art for Atomfall showing a character in the English countryside looking at a nuclear plant some distance away
Atomfall review: "This isn't British Fallout – it's something much better than that"
Razer BlackWidow V4 Pro 75% gaming keyboard with purple RGB lighting on a desk setup
Razer BlackWidow V4 Pro 75% review: "a niche luxury"