11) THE KILLING FIELDS
Duck Hunt
Okay, so you’re only going after pixellated ducks with the plastic-y NES Zapper, but despite the fantastical elements this is still a fairly realistic ‘murder simulator’. You’re not even hunting the ducks for food – which would at least be excusable. No, you’re creating a mountain of lifeless, bloody bodies just to see that score rise higher and higher. We hope you feel satisfied.
12) SCIENTIST SLAUGHTER
Goldeneye
If Rare didn’t want you to kill the scientists in the Facility, why did they make it so much fun? Shooting hats off guards is all well and good, but it’s nothing compared to holding the brainiacs at gunpoint and then dying their white uniforms red by using their limbs and torsos as target practice. Fun times.
13) PIKA CHEWED UP
Super Smash Bros Brawl
Electrocution. Suffocation. Torture. It’s the kind of treatment we’d expect to be reserved for Diddy Kong, not our beloved Pikachu. But tucked away in the Subspace Emissary, that’s exactly what we found ROB the Robot dishing out.
14) THE EXPLODING HAMSTER
Maniac Mansion
Although the NES port of Maniac Mansion suffered a whole host of censorship changes, the American version shipped with one glaring, non-vegetarian-friendly oversight: the ability to cook and explode the hamster. After snatching the rodent from Ed’s room it was possible to take it downstairs and put it in the microwave. A few seconds later and ‘SPLAT!’ – hamster juice, which you could then hand to Ed, prompting him to kill the offending character. Don’t bother trying it with a European copy, though, the problem was noticed and duly removed.
15) THE SPY WITH NO SHAME
Golgo 15
By today’s standards Golgo 13 isn’t at all controversial. The bloody headshots and cigarette-smoking lead, Duke Togo (who was changed from an assassin to a spy for the NES version), wouldn’t look out of place in the current crop of games. But although the sex scenes were tamer than a domesticated rabbit, the idea that bumping uglies would regenerate all your health caused quite a stir back in 1988. Having seen some of the characters you could tussle with- the flirtatious Cherry Grace being just one of them- we’re surprised the evening’s activities didn’t drain Duke’s energy instead.
