New Smash Bros. Assist Trophies reveal a treasure trove of retro goodness
Hold those trophies high, then smash 'em!
UPDATED 4/8/14: Smash Bros Direct info blowout!
Once Little Mac was revealed to have graduated from "Assist Trophy" to "full playable character" (and deservedly so), it's simple to consider the other Assist Trophies coming to Super Smash Bros. Wii U/3DS. So far there have only been five trophies announced with a sixth that's more of a maybe. Meanwhile, Brawl had 27 total Assist Trophy characters, so we're due for a few more, right?
This list will be updated just as the character roster list is; every time a new Assist Trophy is revealed, it'll get added with a corresponding screenshot of proof. And to keep things unpredictable, let's throw in some predictions, some returning Assist Trophies hopefuls, and other brand new assist ideas. Ready to talk Assist Trophies? Let's do it!
Confirmed
These are the Assist Trophies we know about for sure, so far. So far these have been revealed in the daily Miiverse posts of the game's director, Masahiro Sakurai, so expect this to get updated randomly and often.
Waluigi
Even though a lot of people thought Luigi's purple rival would ascend to a playable character, despite all of the support this shrill-voiced malcontent has received, Waluigi will once again make a temporary appearance as an Assist Trophy. It may seem like a travesty, but it really does make sense; Waluigi doesn't do much outside of the party or sports setting, unfortunately.
The Smash Bros Direct confirms that Waluigi will follow the same strategy he showed last time he was an Assist Trophy: pick one opponent, stomp them into the ground, then finish with a big kick to the head or a swat from his tennis racket. Maybe he'll come out with different weapons this time, like a golf club or a baseball bat, but we'll have to wait and see.
Ashley (WarioWare)
Whos that girl next door, living in the haunted mansion? Youd better learn her name because shes a new Assist Trophy in Super Smash Bros. Ashley from WarioWare will be bringing her witchy self to the aid of whoever summons her, though were not quite sure how shes going to go out doing that.
During the Smash Nintendo Direct in April, we saw that shell cast some kind of kooky smoke spell on the unsuspecting Smashers, casting a purple cloud in the arena that causes seemingly random status effects. Also, it's still very odd timing that she was announced prior to the still-unconfirmed Wario, but we think that garlic-eating weirdo will be around soon enough.
Starfy (The Legendary Starfy)
Starfy makes a triumphant Assist Trophy return to Smash Bros. in the new game, first pictured on the Smash Bros. site next to a Luma and Pikachu. Starfy's M.O. seems the same as in Brawl. He's going to appear on-screen, walk around all cute-like, and sometimes do a spinning attack damaging opponents. Its pretty straightforward.
Starfy as an Assist Trophy was expected, but imagine this scenario: Starfy is instead in Smash as a random substitution for one of Rosalinas Lumas, like a 5% chance. Starfy could still be controlled by Rosalina, but be more powerful than a standard Luma and have his spin attack. Its very unlikely, but thatd be a pretty cool wrinkle, and the type the director is fond of.
Nintendog
Normally, when something blocks the view of Smash action, you get upset and ask the offending obstruction to get the hell out of the way. With the Nintendog Assist Trophy, though, you couldnt help but dawwwwwww as the little Golden Retriever puppy pawed at the screen and panted all cute-like. Puppies can melt the coldest heart.
It looks like a new Nintendog will be causing the distraction this time, as Sakurai has shown the French Bulldog to be the new Assist Trophy. This little guy may be even cuter than Brawl's pooch, with his tiny little jowls and smooshed nose. The only thing that would make this better is if you could customize the dog to look like your own pet, but this works just fine too.
Skull Kid (The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask)
The first Assist Trophy announced for the new Smash was the Skull Kid from Majoras Mask, a character who gained a lot of support for inclusion into the main roster. Perhaps Sakurai didnt think enough of Skull Kids abilities to justify adding him as a playable fighter, but making the fierce deity as an Assist Trophy shows that hes at least is aware of the Zelda title, and thats enough for some fans.
The April Smash Bros Direct revealed that Skull Kid casts a spell on the entire stage, flipping it upside down like Palkia's Spacial Rend did in Brawl's Spear Pillar. It may be a small cameo, and his spell may not do any direct damage, butits nice to see Skull Kid get a nod in a Smash Bros. game.
Mother Brain (Metroid)
Housed within the Control Capsule! Protected by Rinkas! Eyeball armed with a Laser Brain Attack!! The massive Assist Trophy Mother Brain joins the collection! We cant introduce the giant spiked noggin any better than Sakurai did. Mother Brain will wreak some havoc when she (it?) appears, making her one of the most massive Assist Trophies there is.
Mother Brain will do the most damage when shes unleashed right next to an opponent, as the Rinkas swirling around her will inflict pain while the eye laser blasts everyone else. Anyone foolish enough to walk right up to her will get a heaping helping of both attacks. With all of this power, Mother Brain might be a rare Assist Trophy like Mew and Celebi have rare appearances out of the Pokeball item. Well have to wait and see.
Andross (Star Fox)
Andross was a brilliant Assist Trophy addition: he's a disembodied head and a pair of hands, for cripes' sake, we've never even seen his full body. However, Brawl surprised even us by going with the Super NES version of Andross, the giant, square-spitting white face. We liked it, and apparently Sakurai did too, because Andross is back.
We had hoped for the Nintendo 64 Andross instead, but we'll take old white-face if we have to. We doprefer our Andross to have some personality, not look like a mime, so we hope maybe he'll taunt us or something before spitting his rectangles at us. Welcome back, "Uncle" Andross, we look forward to seeing you in the background again.
Isabelle (Animal Crossing)
Everyone's favorite mayoral assistant will be getting out from behind the desk and assisting the Smashers! We never expected such a cute little dog like Isabelle to join the Assist Trophy ranks, but here she is!
So how will Isabelle work when she comes out of the Assist Trophy? According to her (as read by Sakurai): "Hello fighters! I'll assist you with fresh-picked fruit from my town!" So she'll be bringing some produce with her straight from whichever town she's coming from. Will she be throwing it at opponents, will she be giving it to whoever summoned her as a health boost, or perhaps both? We don't know the definites, but man are we happy to see that smiling face.
Metroid (Metroid)
Boy, do those things look gross in HD. Look at those three orbs inside that little creature's "head"...they look like giant Italian meatballs, don't they? We're starting to understand why Samus has been trying to eliminate them for so long: as visual resolution goes up, Metroids look more and more dangerous.
The Metroid Assist Trophy is returning this time around, waiting to leech life from unsuspecting opponents once again. We wonder if it's possible that the Metroid grow in size as it leeches, suddenly becoming gigantic and able to leech two characters at once, maybe even absorb a foe and carry them off the stage. Metroids are supposed to be lethal, why not make them so here?
Samurai Goroh (F-Zero)
F-Zero is dying for representation as it is, so taking out Samurai Goroh from the Assist Trophy line-up would be doing the series a great injustice. Luckily, after the recent Super Smash Bros Nintendo Direct, Samurai Goroh made an appearance as the guinea pig for the 3DS's 60FPS for characters vs 30FPS for Assist Trophies. Welcome back, Goroh!.
The only way wed have been OK with Samurai not assisting us from this trophy is if he were to graduate to the main playable roster too. Unfortunately, there are a few other drivers from the F-Zero games we might consider first (Black Falcon, perhaps), and this Samurai has cut himself a nice place among the Assist Trophies, so we're not surprised he's back.
Knuckle Joe (Kirby)
Knuckle Joe is a badass. Dont believe us? Fire up Smash Bros. Brawl, summon him from an Assist Trophy, and watch how fast he goes to work on your opponents. Before they can even react, hes got their percentage climbing and their stocks falling. Joe was definitely one of the most potent assists in Brawl, and thanks to the Smash Bros Direct we know he's coming back for more.
The guy just knows how to kick butt, and we trust him to do some big damage whenever he pops out of that trophy. Hell, weve been trusting him since the SNES days of Kirby Super Star; whenever we could make a Knuckle Joe companion, you better believe that we did. Knuckle Joe is exactly what an Assist Trophy should be: he represents a series (Kirby) even though hes not a big enough star to be on the roster himself, and he packs a wallop.
Devil (Devil World)
That pesky screen-moving devil is back for more! Originating from a game that never made its way to America, this little demon flies to the top of the screen, points in a random direction, and the entire screen shifts that way, limiting the player's view of the ensuing battle. Sometimes he moves it so far the entire stage disappears, making us all wait until he's done with his shenanigans. What a jerk.
You'd think that being a demon, this guy would have more powers than just moving the screen around and annoying the crap out of us. Alas, obstructing our view is all he cares to do, leaving us to wonder why he's doing it in the first place. You don't make a lot of sense Mr. Devil sir, but you make a pretty effective Assist Trophy.
Saki Amimiya (Sin and Punishment)
This one makes us a little bit sad. We were hoping that with the Sin and Punishment sequel on the Wii would come a graduation for Saki to the main roster. That's what we left him out of the original Assist Trophy want list in the first place. It seems Nintendo doesn't think the same way we do, and Saki is once again relegated to Assist Trophy. Sigh.
Despite his brief appearances, Saki looks to be packing the same crazy firepower he did before. He's got his beam sword and his energy pistol and he uses them both to damage foes. Maybe next time we're talking about a new Smash Bros, Saki will finally be playable...maybe next time.
Lyn (Fire Emblem)
There are a ton of characters Sakurai could have chosen from the Fire Emblem franchise, even more so this time around with Awakening, but Lyn will once again represent the series in the Assist Trophy lineup. We're really glad for it too, as we'd be OK with Lyn on the main roster let alone as a support character.
That slash of Lyn's is powerful enough to take out anyone with a moderate amount of damage, making her a real wild card whenever she comes out of the Assist Trophy. If you're unfortunate enough to see that green ponytail when someone else grabs the item, head for the hills: you don't want to be on the receiving end of what's coming.
Dr. Wright (Sim City SNES)
How awesome is it that a character created simply to teach SNES Sim City players how to play the game is getting face time in one of his creator's biggest releases for the second time in the series? Dr. Wright really has no business being in Smash Bros; before Brawl, we hadn't seen him since the early 1990s, but here he is, crazy hairdo and all.
We'd also like to say that Dr. Wright's "power" would be a total game-changer in the real world. Any budding architects with a design plan laid out would only need to flick a magic wand and watch their visions come to life instantaneously. They'd just have to make sure no one was in the way, because as Smash demonstrates, that could be painful.
Midna (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)
Maybe it's just us, but there is a TON of Zelda representing in Super Smash Brothers this time around. Four characters on the roster already, a ton of items from all of the games, and now a second representative in the Assist Trophy category. We love that Midna's involved this time, as we feel she's way under-appreciated in Zelda circles.
She may not have Wolf Link at her beck and call, but the impish denizen of the Twilight World does have that big orange hand coming out of her crown, and she knows how to grab an opponent and throw them across the arena. The throw even inflicts some kind of status ailment, but we don't know what that does yet.
Dark Samus (Metroid Prime)
Samus' dark alter ego will not be joining the main playable roster as some of us had guessed (which is a good thing, no similar characters is always good); however, the dark bounty hunter did sneak right into the Assist Trophy lineup, and this dark warrior looks to put a serious hurt on whoever is unlucky enough to be in the way.
So far we've seen Dark Samus shoot a fast array of energy at a foe for multiple hits, as well as a shockwave type of move with a decent range. Could there be a few more techniques we haven't seen yet? It's possible, so we'll have to wait for more from Dark Samus before we know for sure.
Chain Chomp (Super Mario)
We're actually kind of mad that we didn't think of this before. Chain Chomp is a perfect Assist Trophy: he pops in, bops around for a while, then WHAM! Full extension into an enemy's face, and out he goes. We think it'd be cool that every once in a while, say every 49th time, the Chain Chomp actually breaks free and sails off of the screen to freedom. It would add a bit of randomness to what otherwise is a fairly predictable assist.
We're wondering just how powerful this Chain Chomp is. It doesn't look to be the size of the Chain Chomps from Super Mario 64, but it still looks big enough to pack a wallop. We don't think Chompy here will be able to one-hit KO someone with perfect health, but we don't think it'll be a slouch either. We'll have to wait and see.
Elec Man (Mega Man)
What a strange choice for an Assist Trophy. We thought for sure that Proto Man would be the Mega choice for Assist Trophy status (who knows, he still might), if only because we wouldn't be able to choose just one or two of the Robot Masters out of the ten games in the classic series. Nonetheless, here's Elec Man and his tri-lightning bolts straight from Mega Man 1.
The only reason we can think of to include Elec Man here is that Mega Man's moveset doesn't include Elec Man's lighting bolts, and maybe Sakurai really likes Elec Man, so he threw him in as an Assist. We can't say we blame him if it's true; Elec Man is pretty awesome, and now we get to see him in full HD every once in a while. That's pretty cool.
Color TV-Game 15
Alright, we have to start drawing the line somewhere, Nintendo. The Nintendog is delightfully silly, as was Resetti in Brawl, but now you're telling us that one of the Assist Trophies in the new Smash Bros is...Pong? Call it whatever you like, this is a giant Super Smash Brothers version of Pong with the ball flying through the stage and laying a hurt on people. Ok, maybe it is pretty awesome.
What would make this really cool is if we can actually control the Pong game before the Assist Trophy goes away. Of course this would be a risky gambit, as our distraction could lead to Smash disaster, but an impromptu match in a classic game would be too good to pass up.
Wish list
What Assist Trophies, new and old, do we want to see in Smash Bros. Wii U? Here's a list of fresh and returning trophies we'd love to use to smash our opponents.
Proto Man (Mega Man)
Imagine this for a second: the Assist Trophy is broken open, we hear a familiar whistle, and Proto Man teleports to the arena and starts jumping and shooting his Proto Buster just as he did back in Mega Man 3. We can't think of a more perfect Mega Man-based Assist Trophy than that.
Sure, there are plenty of Robot Masters to choose from, but Mega Man's moves already pay homage to those guys. As Mega and Proto are essentially the same, there wouldn't really be a good way to include Proto in Mega Mans move set. We suppose Dr. Wily or Roll would be solid choices too, but Proto Man deserves SOME acknowledgement, and if they follow what we said above, making him as Assist Trophy would be the best way to do that.
Mr. Resetti (Animal Crossing)
Ah, Mr. Resetti, everyones favorite cantankerous mole in a hard hat. Ever the bane of someone with an affinity for the reset button, this vigilante made for a really funny Assist Trophy in Brawl, badgering us about whatever came to mind while we tried to fight. Now with the Villager officially on the playable roster, we see no reason to take Resetti out.
Resetti also fits the role of dud Assist Trophy like Goldeen does in the Poke Ball. Items should always have some sort of weakness, and the mini-lottery that is the Assist Trophy is bound to have some losing numbers. Resetti was one of those bad eggs, and bringing him back to reprise that role is only logical. Who else fits the role as well as Resetti?
Frederick (Fire Emblem: Awakening)
Frederick is the closest thing Fire Emblem: Awakening gets to one of those Super Guides Nintendo likes to put in their games for people who struggle with hard stages. No matter how bad things get in the first half of the game, Frederick can come in and just lay waste to any enemies foolish enough to attack him. We think he may have landed the final blow in the first ten chapters of our playthrough, no joke.
Being such a powerful and memorable knight, his services would be perfectly suited for Assist Trophy status in the new Smash (because if anyone from Awakening is making the playable roster, its Chrom and we all know it). Frederick could ride around the battlefield on his noble steed, dealing damage with his giant lance and generally being a badass as usual. Theres no better place for him than that.
Ray MK III (Custom Robo)
Now that Punch-Out is represented on the main roster, Custom Robo steps in as another oft-forgotten Nintendo franchise that needs more Smash love. Ray MK III being an Assist Trophy was a good start in Brawl, but unlike fellow Brawl assist trophy Little Mac, Custom Robo didnt add another entry to its franchise like Punch-Out did, hence Little Macs graduation to the main roster.
If theres ever a Super Smash Brothers V, perhaps Ray MK III could see his day in the sun, but for now we bet his lasers and rockets will once again be relegated to Assist Trophy status. Furthermore, were pretty sure the Internet push for Ray MK III, if it even exists, pales in comparison to those who clamored for Mac. Sorry Ray, its just not your time yet.
Cranky Kong (Donkey Kong Country)
Cranky Kong is getting his turn in the spotlight in Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, but we think he deserves some recognition as an Assist Trophy too. However, we dont necessarily want to him to assist us. Remember what happened during the end credits of the original Donkey Kong Country, when the game ran through all of the characters? Thats what we want.
We want Cranky straight from DKC1, in his favorite chair, rocking back and forth, muttering to himself about how in his day, Nintendo characters didnt have to fight each other, and how characters back then had more respect for their elders than the do now. The rocking chair can do damage, thats fine with us, but the Cranky complaining is what were looking for.
Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)
If Sonic is back in the Smash game, then why wouldnt Shadow come back as his Assist Trophy? Shadow was a smart addition as the Sega representative for Assist Trophy, as his Chaos Control fit right into all of the action. Would Robotnik (because thats his name, not Eggman) have worked? Maybe, but Shadow was probably easier to model (Sonic with different colors!), so he gets in.
If Shadow does reprise his role, however, maybe well let him walk around and punch some folks before he goes into Chaos Control mode and slows everything down. He's a third-party inclusion, so we might expect a little more face time from him, even if hes only there to perform one move and scram. Unless Sakurai wants to give a different Sonic character his due, we expect Shadow will be back.
Tingle (The Legend of Zelda)
KOOLOO-LIMPAH! Though he may creep out a majority of the Zelda fanbase, Tingle has become one of the most recognizable faces in the Zelda lore. When he last appeared as an Assist Trophy, Tingle has five different effects that he could unleash on the arena, making him the most varied of the Assist Trophies. We want all of them back.
We liked when he made the camera zoom in on us, giving us full control of the battlefield for a bit. We enjoyed when he made everyone on the battlefield instantly spit fire like the Superspice Curry item from Kirby. Most of all, we loved when he filled the stage with Hammers and Golden Hammers, turning Brawl into pure insanity. Bring the weird guy back, we say.
Groose (The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword)
Our man Groose tried his best to win Zeldas heart in Skyward Sword, and while he failed to capture the girl of his dreams, he certainly found a place in ours. Groose turns from the annoying rival to the invaluable helper pretty quickly with his moving catapult, helping Link beat back The Imprisoned at the Sealed Grounds during Skyward Sword. We think he should be thanked by becoming an Assist Trophy.
Wed want Groose to bring his catapult and rain down some pain on the battlefield, but itd be hard to represent the full moving catapult in some arenas so instead, Groose should shoot from the foreground onto the stage, a la Snakes Grenade Launcher Final Smash. He could block the screen AND help us do some damage thatd be crazy enough to work!
Bowser Jr. (Super Mario Bros)
We had thought that the Mario franchise would be getting another rep on the main roster this time around; we just didnt think it would be Rosalina. If anything, we thought Rosalina would be an Assist Trophy and Bowser Jr. here would be the one getting ready to Smash. Alas, things are not that way, and the little will more than likely be relegated to Assist Trophy status if he makes it at all.
Bowser Jr.s assist would use his paint brush/bo staff from Super Mario Sunshine, but we cant decide if we like him striking opponents directly with it or if he should leave paint around the stage to trap some unsuspecting enemies. Well, perhaps both would work; he could trap them in paint goop, then attack them while theyre stuck. We hope Bowser Jr. gets some props this time, as he was all but forgotten in Brawl.
Jeff Andonuts (Earthbound)
While we still haven't seen any Earthbound characters officially announced, we have no doubt that Ness and possibly Lucas will soon make their way back to the playable roster. Earthbound is a major cult hit garnering even more exposure now that it's on the Wii U Virtual Console; leaving it out of Smash now would just be stupid.
Because of this, Jeff Andonuts and his bottle rockets should be back among the Assist Trophies this time around. We don't think he's prominent enough to be on the main roster (we're not sure if any new Earthbound characters will come around to be honest), so keeping him as an Assist Trophy makes the most sense.
Mike Jones (StarTropics)
You all now have one major question in your heads: who?! Mike Jones starred in an action-adventure game for the NES called StarTropics (its alright if you havent played it, not many have). Mike found himself on an island where he uncovered a dangerous mystery using a myriad of weaponry as defense. That arsenal, believe it or not, would actually translate well to the world of Smash, so why not make him as Assist Trophy and give him a new spotlight to shine in?
In StarTropics, Mike used weapons like a yo-yo, a baseball bat, bolas, laser rifles, and many other items and power-ups to defeat invading aliens, and he could wield any number of them when he came out to assist. He also liked to stick bananas in his ears, though we don't know how that will help. Above all else, we dont want to have to use an actual physical piece of paper like we did in order to advance in StarTropics. If that happens, were out.
Excitebike
If the Assist Trophy achieved anything (beside the obvious battle aid), it served as a great way to highlight some of the games in Nintendo's library that "don't deserve" a roster spot BUT are still important enough to be celebrated. Excitebike and its motocross bikers are a perfect example: we wouldn't want to see a rider on the roster, but they're perfect as an Assist.
They don't do much, they just ride around on their bikes and run into our opponents, but they didn't do much in their own game outside of ride around and jump off of ramps (Excitebike is no Road Rash, after all). They're a perfect candidate for a throwback Assist Trophy, just as they were in Brawl, so they should reprise their role on Wii U and 3DS.
Infantry and Tanks (Advance Wars)
Just as the Excitebikers threw back to the NES days, the Advance Wars infantry and tanks gave us a taste of what things were like back on the Game Boy Advance. We do think that Advance Wars is a big enough series to earn a roster spot, but whether they do or not we think these soldiers would still make a prime Assist Trophy.
The only thing we would change about the infantry and tanks is their coloring. We wonder if there's a way to color code the soldiers to the player that summoned them: red for player one, blue for player two, etc. It's not a big change, more of a convenience thing, but everything else about them was perfect for their role, so why fix it?
Bulborb (Pikmin)
Throughout all three Pikmin games, these polka-dotted pests stood in the way of our hard-earned progress. Weve thrown countless amounts of Pikmin at these jerks, then used the bullorbs' dead carcasses to make countless more Pikmin servants. Olimar has already been confirmed to return, and Pikmin 3 has a stage of its own in the Wii U version, so why not give the series an Assist Trophy too?
The Bulborb can run around the stage, dealing damage to opponents with bites and scratches. If an opponent damages the Bulborb, it can perform that shake move it uses to shake Pikmin off of its back as another attack. What weve explained here may sound weird, but we think Pikmin deserves some kind of Assist Trophy, and we can think of nothing better than ol polka-dots here.
Petey Piranha (Super Mario Sunshine)
With the removal of a Subspace Emissary-style single player confirmed by Sakurai, all of those characters that served as bosses now serve no purpose in Smash. Some of them may become playable characters (if any, our moneys on Ridley) but others really cant do anything else, like Petey Piranha here. Why not move him to an Assist Trophy instead?
We wouldnt mind if Sakurai took the model right from Subspace and used that, though the cages Petey holds would suddenly make zero sense. Maybe he can shoot globs of paint at them a la his boss battle in Super Mario Sunshine; thats where he got his start anyhow, right? It would be a shame to see a character used so well in a previous game not come back at all, so we think Petey deserves another shot.
Marx (Kirby Super Star)
Were not thinking about Groucho Marx, nor is it Karl Marx we want; Milky Way Wishes Marx from Kirby Super Star is the one that we were thinking of. Marx is essentially the final boss of the SNES classic; hes the last adversary of the last chapter, and he is a total son-of-a-gun in that battle too. Potential bad memories aside, Marx would make for a cool Assist Trophy if given the chance.
Marx has plenty of attacks from that boss battle that would translate into an Assist Trophy. He shoots a stream of arrows from one side of the screen to the other as well as a giant beam of light, and that black hole attack he used after taking a lot of damage was stupid powerful. The little jester jerk would make for a pretty cool assist in the new Smash, even if he hasnt been around in a while.
Bald Bull (Punch-Out!!)
With Little Mac now officially on the playable roster, someone needs to replace him as the Punch-Out representative among the Assist Trophies. Glass Joe would make a great dud, and both Super Macho Man and Great Tiger could use their spin punches to generate some big time damage, but we think theres only one real choice here. Say hello to the bald guy!
We see Bald Bull rushing across platforms delivering his devastating Bull Rush to anyone unlucky enough to get in his way. We see it delivering big time damage, but we also see it having a major weakness: if someone can successfully attack Bald Bull the instant before he strikes, he would immediately fall and disappear. Just like the real thing.
Poo (Earthbound)
Earlier we said were not sure if any new Earthbound characters will make the playable roster, but we didnt say a thing about a new Assist Trophy. Poo would be a great choice, using his martial arts skills to fly around the stage and take out some of our opponents all kung-fu style. Plus, we chuckle like kindergarteners every time we say his name, which would ease any Smash-related tension.
Poo also has an impressive list of PSI attacks he can use too, so perhaps he could mix physical with magic attacks as he sprang around the stage. Wed love to see a little PK Freeze or PK Thunder mixed in with his martial arts moves. What if he used Magnet to pull someone close to him, and then unleash a powerful attack? Oh the Poo-sibilities!
Ms. Pac-Man and Ghosts (Pac-Man)
This one is contingent on Pac-Man becoming part of the playable roster, and we certainly think its a possibility due to Bandai Namcos involvement with Smash development. We also think that Ms. Pac-Man and her ghoulish rivals would be a perfect choice for a new retro Assist Trophy. A new game deserves some new pixelated assists, right?
The ghosts could appear alone and damage anyone they touch, then instantly turn blue and run from Ms. Pac-Man, who would eventually catch them all before disappearing, damaging anyone in her way. All of the ghosts and Ms. Pac-Man would look just as they did back in their arcade cabinets, in full pre-8-bit glory. If Pac-Man makes it in, why wouldnt they do this? (Unless Ms. Pac-Man would just be a reskin of Pac-Man.)
King Boo (Luigi's Mansion)
Luigis Mansion: Dark Moon was one of the biggest releases for the 3DS last year, and that games final boss, King Boo, was a doozy. When we started thinking of names for new Assist Trophies, we immediately remembered how intimidating King Boo was in that final battle and wondered if we could think of a way to make King Boo an assist. Turns out its easier than we thought.
King Boo would just sit in the back of the stage, like Andross does, then summon ghosts from each of the mansions to attack the stage. The ghosts could swarm the arena all at once or appear one at a time in all different places, but we think thats the best way for this malicious monarch to make his presence felt. He certainly deserves it after that fight in Dark Moon.
Starman (Pro Wrestling)
No folks, were not talking about the power-up from Super Mario Bros, nor do we mean the enemies from Earthbound (though they might work too, actually). What we mean here is the pink-clad, purple starred wrestling sensation from the original Pro Wrestling game on NES. Names like Fighter Hayabusa or Great Puma might make more sense, but we dont think anyone was as memorable as Starman.
Starman could grab one of the other Smash Bros and drop him to the ground with a big slam, or if that doesnt work he could use his trademark Somersault Kick or Flying Cross Chop to deal some big time damage. Plus, how cool would it be to see Starman alive in HD for the first time ever? A winner is us, should that happen.
Nurse Joy (Pokemon)
OK, up until now we hope youve followed our logic and you can see why each character weve named would fit as an Assist Trophy. We can sense that youre looking at the screen now saying what the hell are these dopes thinking? How would Nurse Joy make ANY sense as an assist? Have you guys gone mad? No, but youll have to let us explain.
See, none of the 27 Assist Trophies in Brawl had any healing properties. They all either attacked our opponents or disrupt the view of battle somehow. Nurse Joy could change that: the trophy breaks, Nurse Joy appears with the Pokemon Center healing machine, whoever opened the trophy is put into a Pokeball, the ball appears on the machine, the jingle plays, and that character is healed anywhere between 50% and 100%. Tell us that doesnt make sense.
Who else could Assist us here?
We've covered a lot of Assists here today, but we know we barely scratched the surface of the Trophy possibilities. Let us know in the comments below who you like for an Assist Trophy; who knows, maybe we'll like it enough to add it in.
For more Smash Bros mayhem, check out the constantly updating Smash roster page and the new Little Mac episode of Super Smash Bros Wii U Weekly.
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