Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends reunite to fight a Christmas tree cursed by demon poop
And swear to god, that ain't clickbait
Dark Web: X-Men #1 from writer Gerry Duggan, artist Rod Reis, and letterer Cory Petit picks up on the Christmas nightmare that kicked off in Dark Web Alpha #1, in which Madelyne Pryor/Goblin Queen's demonic forces from Limbo began their attack on New York City by going straight for the iconic skating rink in Rockefeller Center.
In this issue, it's actually another part of Rockefeller Center's world-famous Christmas decor that becomes the target of the demons: the massive Christmas tree that always sits above the skating rink.
As the Limbo demons infest inanimate objects around the city from scooters to construction equipment, to parking meters and more, one giant demon soars overhead before taking a massive, evil dump on the Christmas tree, basically turning it into a tree-number 2-combo-Kaiju - a turd-tenenbaum, if you will.
If you're wondering whether a superhero comic actually went there, rest assured, it's not subtle or hidden by subtext. The demon "relieves itself" on the Norway Spruce, causing a little girl to ask "Did that thing just make a boom-boom in the tree?"
To which the tree itself responds, "Ho ho holy $%#@, time to die!"
Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Crap.
To fight the disgusting (and frankly kinda disturbing) monster, two current members of the X-Men, Iceman and Firestar, reunite with their '80s Saturday morning cartoon co-star Spider-Man to pay tribute to the classic animated series Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends - which did have its fair share of bizarre villains, though never a Christmas tree that was literally cursed by demon dung.
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Spider-Man/X-Men: Dark Web continues in Dark Web X-Men #2, on sale December 28.
I've been Newsarama's resident Marvel Comics expert and general comic book historian since 2011. I've also been the on-site reporter at most major comic conventions such as Comic-Con International: San Diego, New York Comic Con, and C2E2. Outside of comic journalism, I am the artist of many weird pictures, and the guitarist of many heavy riffs. (They/Them)