Stealing Thunder

Pirates. An ideal subject matter for hackneyed analogies about sea shanties, dead men's chests and bottles of rum. None of which you shall read here, this being a serious investigative article and all. Let it just be said, it was once rumored that Chuck Norris lost a fight to a pirate, but this rumor was a lie created by Chuck Norris to lure more pirates to him.

Truth be told, not even the ginger warlord or Steven Segal (or David Hasselhoff in his prime) could stem the onslaught of PC games pirates, currently causing developers to weep like children.

At GDC 2007, id boss Todd Hollenshead blamed piracy for the death of PC games (that old chestnut). As much as 50% of all PC game sales are lost to piracy in the US he said, and up to 90% in Asia. Epic honcho Michael V Capps weighed in, saying that piracy was the reason behind UT3 cross-platforming.

For the most part, PC gamers do not enjoy the finger of blame pointed their direction. "What a load of crap," the average brigand bleats on a forum. "Most people who pirate games don't buy them anyway, so how are publishers losing money?" Another token voice pitches in: "Draconian piracy protection hurts games more and the customers are beginning to get tired." Others moan that piracy has been about for eons.

Outspoken developers are clearly shocked by the venomous reaction of the gaming community. "I think I already stoked the fires a bit too much on this issue," says Epic man Michael Capps when approached for a comment, although others call it like it is. "PC gaming piracy these days is BAD," announces Jørgen Tharaldsen, Funcom product director. "In many regards, it's easier to get hold of a pirated version online than going to a store to buy it."

Above: In 1996, an unscrupulous rotter hacked into the id website and robbed the Quake source code. More amusingly, Hexen II was leaked during a press meeting in Australia, and id's ownshakey security system was to blame for Quake 2 going AWOL.

Latest in Games
Assassin's Creed Shadows riddles Naoe answers
All Assassin's Creed Shadows riddle answers for NPC encounters
Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines 2
Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2 "is done," but it's been delayed again to October for "bug fixing, stability, and performance"
GTA 6 trailer screenshots showing lucia in an interview room
"GTA 6 is basically a huge meteor, and we will just stay clear of the blast zone": Publishers are in a frenzy over when to release their games to avoid Rockstar
Fortnite Henchmen Walkie Talkies
Fortnite Henchmen Walkie Talkies: How to eavesdrop on Kane
Assassin's Creed Shadows
Assassin's Creed Shadows has been the series' best launch since Valhalla, but that was "a perfect storm we may never see again," says Ubisoft
Monster Hunter Wilds
Monster Hunter Wilds' first major update rights its greatest wrong by adding a proper Palico cooking animation, and it's letting you change Alma's glasses
Latest in Features
Captain Planet #1
Captain Planet is back after 33 years with a "sexy" makeover and a message that's as important as ever: "Reality has gotten a lot less subtle"
Assassin's Creed 3 screenshot of Desmond hilding a circular Isu artifact
Assassin's Creed Shadows' modern storyline is kind of non-existent and I couldn't be happier about it
An Assassin's Creed Shadows On The Radar thumbnail showing Yasuke and Oda Nobunaga armored up and on horseback, ready to ride to battle
"We really wanted you to live this history": Assassin's Creed Shadows is all about "perspective", says the game's cinematic director
A screenshot of a pink-haired protagonist in Xenoblade Chronicles X: Definitive Edition, surrounded by other BLADE soldiers and a Skell.
I spent 10 years waiting for the answers to Xenoblade Chronicles X's haunting cliffhanger ending, and it was worth the wait
Assassin's Creed Shadows screenshot of an enemy falling backwards through the air away from Yasuke who's just performed a War Kick
Forget the hidden blade: if you're not yeeting enemies in Assassin's Creed Shadows, you're missing out
Assassin's Creed Shadows gameplay taken for review
Assassin's Creed Shadows claims to offer two protagonists, but the choice between Yasuke and Naoe seems pretty rigged