The 10 worst game intros of all time

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Watch the most awful openings ever without having to play the games

6. Jonny Moseley Mad Trix
2001 | PS2, GC

This EXTREME skiing game starts off promisingly enough, with footage of skiers somersaulting through the Alpine air, but it quickly goes downhill when the scene switches from the slopes to the interior of a tiny ski lodge. In walks pro skier Jonny Moseley, looking like a douche, signing breasts and allowing his girlfriends to rough up guys who try to take his picture. His antics are intercut by a lot of footage of random nobodies dancing around the lodge, and the audience starts shifting uncomfortably and wondering what the hell this has to do with skiing.

6. Jonny Moseley Mad Trix
2001 | PS2, GC

This EXTREME skiing game starts off promisingly enough, with footage of skiers somersaulting through the Alpine air, but it quickly goes downhill when the scene switches from the slopes to the interior of a tiny ski lodge. In walks pro skier Jonny Moseley, looking like a douche, signing breasts and allowing his girlfriends to rough up guys who try to take his picture. His antics are intercut by a lot of footage of random nobodies dancing around the lodge, and the audience starts shifting uncomfortably and wondering what the hell this has to do with skiing.

Don't worry, though - Moseley will eventually remember why the nice people put him in a game. After spending a good 30 seconds schmoozing with his fans, Moseley and his entourage decide they've had enough, and head upstairs for some quiet time. Without warning, things suddenly go to hell: Moseley hangs up his cell phone, turns to the guy he hired to film his stoned ramblings and asks, "What if it snowed in San Francisco?" before turning his head to gaze wistfully to his left.

We're then treated to a part-live action, part-CG sequence in which a poorly animated Moseley shreds around in San Francisco during a new Ice Age. Oblivious to the impossible disaster and suffering all around him, he carves up slopes that reach the tops of skyscrapers, selfishly dancing on the frozen corpse of the once-great city like a mad god of decay.

Now you know why there aren't many extreme-sports skiing games on the market.

Mikel Reparaz
Mikel Reparaz
After graduating from college in 2000 with a BA in journalism, I worked for five years as a copy editor, page designer and videogame-review columnist at a couple of mid-sized newspapers you've never heard of. My column eventually got me a freelancing gig with GMR magazine, which folded a few months later. I was hired on full-time by GamesRadar in late 2005, and have since been paid actual money to write silly articles about lovable blobs.