The Human Centipede review

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) review - Kevin Smith will tell you that “ass to mouth” was never supposed to be like this.

In Human Centipede, the porno phrase takes on a yucky new meaning as a German doc (Dieter laser) grafts two chicks and a dude together to create a “human centipede”, stitched mouth to anus, mouth to anus. It really sucks to be the last person in that conga train...

Whizzing straight out of leftfield, Dutchman tom Six’s instant-cult-flick is laced with a high-concept vision of inhumanity. It’s a balls-out exploitation flick; grubby, sadistic and, given the tiny budget, expertly put together.

Once revealed, Centipede’s central idea is one you can’t get out of your head, a how-could-they-do-that? Moment of body horror to rank alongside Jeff Goldblum’s dick falling off in The Fly.

Although it’s likely to stoke controversy, the most shocking thing about Six’s movie is that it skimps on the blatant gore and nudity promised by its set-up, as lost yanks Lindsay (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie) end up manacled in a torture lab.

Instead, it’s visually coy and hilarious even. Exhibit A is laser’s deranged doc, a villain straight out of SS Experiment Camp. He’s pitched somewhere between Udo Kier and Christopher Walken, screaming “Swallow it, bitch!” when his creature’s first, inevitable bowel moment occurs.

Six reckons his monstrosity is 100% medically accurate. All we can guarantee is that it won’t turn a first date into a second.

Between the barfs and the larfs, there’s something more – a horrified, nihilistic take on existence that propels this towards the sadism of Pasolini’s Salò.

So what if the plotting is paper-thin? After the WTF? shock and giggles have evaporated, it’s a truly bleak ode to the notion that life is a giant shit sandwich.