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"Take the meat between your fingers and slide it back and forth..." No, not some softcore skinflick from Germany. It's actually Martha Coolidge's fairytale rom-com: the story of a simple country girl, a prince and some, um, turkey products.
Julia Stiles is Paige, a medical student who has no time for romance - until she meets Eddie (Luke Mably), a spoiled little shite who's new to her college. Except Eddie is actually the Crown Prince of Denmark, escaping his royal duties by working at the uni's deli counter. Hence the meat, see.
You've probably already noticed this is kind of like Roman Holiday in reverse, but you should also know it doesn't have a speck of the original's style, wit or infectious euphoria.
Okay, so tweenagers will adore Eddie's smart uniforms and Paige's pretty frocks and posh hats, but everyone else? We'll take the softcore skinflick from Germany, thanks.
