Full list of Carla's Sword Fighting Insults/Replies
===================================================
Carla's Insult: My last fight ended with my hands covered in blood
Reply: I trust now you've learnt to stop picking your nose
Carla's Insult: My tongue is sharper than any sword
Reply: First you'd better stop waving it like a feather duster
Carla's Insult: Only once have I met such a coward
Reply: He must have taught you everything you know
Carla's Insult: My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island
Reply: You got that job as Janitor after all?
Carla's Insult: I will milk every drop of blood from your body
Reply: How appropriate, you fight like a cow
Carla's Insult: Every word you say to me is stupid
Reply: I wanted to make sure you were confortable with me
Carla's Insult: Have you a boat ready for a quick escape?
Reply: Why? Do you want to borrow one?
Carla's Insult: If your borther's like you, its better to marry a pig!
Reply: You make me think somebody already did
Carla's Insult: I've got the courage and skill of a master swordsman
Reply: I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them!
Carla's Insult: You are a pain in the backside, Sir.
Reply: Your Haemmoroids are playing up again huh?
Carla's Insult: There are no clever moves that can save you now
Reply: Yes there are, you just never learnt them.
Carla's Insult: No one will ever catch me fighting as badly as you do
Reply: You run THAT fast?
Carla's Insult: My sword is famous all over the Caribbean
Reply: Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all!
Carla's Insult: My wisest enemies run away at the meer sight of me
Reply: Even before they've smelt your breath?
Carla's Insult: I usually see people like you passed our on the tavern floors
Reply: Im glad to hear you attended your family reunion
Carla's Insult: Now I know what filth and stupidity really are:
Reply: Im glad to hear you attended your family reunion
Note: The last two insults listed there have the same reply. Thats not a typo,
both really do have the same answer. :)
You need to counter five of Carla's insults to win. At the end of the dual
Carla, the sword master, will surrender and say you've
won. You'll receive a T-shirt as proof of beating the sword master for the
pirate.
Optional: As with all three trials, after completing it you can return to the
Scumm Bar pirates and show them how successful you've been with the trial,
however you DO NOT have to do this to proceed with the game.
After completing your first trial a cut scene will play, where LeChuck's
lieutenant ("Bob") breaks the news about Guybrush's antics on the island. Bob
offers to take control of the matter, but LeChuck decides that he will deal with
Guybrush himself. Note: If you do the Thievery trial first, you will not see
this cut scene.
After the cut scene has finished, you can return to the pirates to brag about
your success in the trial, or alternatively, move on to....
[2]... Trial Two: Treasure Hunter-y
====================================
Return to the Meléé Island map, and click on the "village" location. From the
lookout point, head into town, keep going east until you are on the Clock Tower
screen. Here you will see a dodgy looking man in a flasher-mac, with a parrot on
his shoulder. Talk to him and he will ask you if have a brother called Sven.
Answer with "No but I had barber called Domonique". The dodgy man will offer to
sell you a treasure map for 300 pieces of eight. Buy it. On it are "Dancing
Instructions" and Guybrush thinks he's been ripped off, but actually they are
directions to the secret treasure of Meléé Island.
Return to the Meléé Island map, and click on the "Fork" location. From here you
need to head...
North | You should see the yellow flowers | West. You should see campsite |
North (Left path) | West | North | West - skeletal remains should be here |
North | North | East | West | North - You'll see a garden full of red flowers |
East...
You are now at the treasure's secret location, and it seems that X really does
mark the spot. Use your shovel on the X and you'll dig up the treasure, and
refill the hole with the soil.
Optional: As with all three trials, after completing it you can return to the
Scumm Bar pirates and show them how successful you've been with the trial,
however you DO NOT have to do this to proceed with the game.
You can return to the pirates to brag about your success in the trial, or
alternatively, move on to....
[3]... Trial Three: Thievery
=============================
For this trial, you need to steal a golden idol from the Governors mansion.
Return to the Meléé Island map, and click on the Village. Head into town, go
through it to the screen with the church and the store. You'll see a "Pssssst"
on the screen coming from the alley-way, and with the new special edition,
you'll hear it too (w00t for voice acting!!!!).
Optional: You can go into the alley way if you want, but you do not have to do
this for the story to progress. When you go into the alley-way you are
confronted by Fester Shinetop, the town sheriff allegedly, he threatens you and
tells you that he has his eye on you. Leave the alleyway to go back to the
church/store screen and....
Head west, go through the arch to head towards the governor's mansion.
Outside the mansion are a tied up group of killer "Piranha Poodles", and
Guybrush will not go near the Mansions front door with those dogs there so we
need to do something... In your inventory, use the yellow flowers with the meat
from the Scumm bar. This creates "Meat with Condiments", give this to the
poodles, using the Give command not the Use command. This puts the poodles to
sleep, and Guybrush can now open the mansion door and enter. Do so.
Once inside, you can look around the mansion if you want. To progress with the
trial, enter the door immediately to the right of the entrance. I cut scene will
follow where Fester follows Guybrush and a fight ensues. After a few minutes of
automated adventuring, Guybrush finds the idol but its locked in a chest, he
appears from the upstairs door and declares he needs a file. You'll also find
some new junk in your inventory, some of which will be useful, some of which is
literally junk.
Leave the mansion, head back to the church screen area of town. West of the
church is the prison, go in there, and talk to the prisoner, Otis. Guybrush says
he will not talk to him ‘cos he's got halitosis (bad breath).
Return to the store, tell the storekeeper you need some breath mints, he will
sell you some. Return to the prison and give the breath mints to Otis. Also give
him the Gopher Repellant. Otis will give you a carrot cake in return, open it
and you'll find a file. Ohh silly, silly Otis! Doh!
Return to the mansion, click on the whole in the wall where the portrait used to
hang, and Guybrush will return to fighting Fester, and eventually appears from
the upstairs doors again, this time with the idol.
Fester follows you. Tell him the idol should be in a museum. The Governor will
appear and tell fester to buzz off. After a few awkward lurrrrve moments with
the Governor, Guybrush will regain control.
Hurray, you've completed the three trials, you can now go to the pirates and
join them. As you leave the Mansion though Fester arrests you.
You find yourself on the Dock in the village on Meléé Island. Fester has tied
the Idol around your ankles, and throws you into the water.
Note: You gain an Xbox 360 achievement here if you leave Guybrush underwater for
10 minutes.
There are loads of great tools to cut the rope holding Guybrush underwater but
they are all out of reach. So, instead, pick up the idol and walk to the ladder.
Guybrush will pick up a Sword on the way too for good measure.
When you return to the docks, you'll see LeChuck’s ghost ship sail off into the
sunset (proverbially speaking, as it's nighttime). The old lookout gentleman
comes and tells you that the Governor has been kidnapped by LeChuck. Guybrush
decides he needs to form a crew, get a ship, and sail off after the evil Ghost
Pirate and his future "Plunder Bunny" Elaine Marley - Governor of Meléé Island.
NOTE: You no longer need to return to the pirates of the Scumm Bar. In fact, if
you do you will find they are gone.
[cr]--- Finding a Ship and Crew
===============================
First of all lets get a crew together. We need three crew members.
[cr1]---Crew Member 1: Carla the Sword Master
=============================================
She's the easiest crew member to obtain. Simply return to her hideout, tell her
the governor has been kidnapped and she will return to your crew.
[cr2]---Crew Member 2: Meathook
===============================
Go to the Meléé Island map screen. In the Northeast corner of the map you will
find Hook Island. Go there. Use the rubber chicken with the transfer line.
You'll slide over to the island. Go to the house's door, open it, go inside.
Inside is Meathook. A man who for years has lived in fear of a terrible beast
hidden in his basement. Tell him the governor has been kidnapped, suggest that
you should get a crew together and get a ship and go after LeChuck. Meathook
agrees to join your crew if you face the terrible beast in the basement.
Meathook takes you to the back of the house and opens up the high security area
of the basement. Open the final wooden door, then touch/poke/tickle the parrot
inside.
Note: Once the parrot's door is open, your usually commands will change to a set
of commands that basically just touch the parrot in some odd way. Any of these
commands will progress the story.
After touching the bird, Meathook agrees to join your crew.
[cr3]---Crew Member 3: Otis, the Prisoner
=========================================
Return to the Meléé Island map screen, click on the village, and return to the
Scumm bar. Pick up all the mugs on the tables, head to the back of the bar area,
and pick up the mugs on the table that has the cook sobbing at it.
Optional: You can talk to the cook and get some back-story on the kidnapping of
Elaine, and how she was such a big help to the cook. You don’t need do this to
progress the story but there’s some funny lines in the dialog which make it
worth
listening too.
Go into the kitchen - the cook wont stop you, he's too busy sobbing - and use a
mug with grog barrel in the corner.
Leave the Scumm bar.
Note: The grog is slowly eating through the mug. On screen you will see how bad
the mug has deteriorated, and how close to death it is. Before the mug totally
collapses, use it with a fresh mug. Guybrush will tip the grog into the fresh
mug, which again starts to slowly be eaten away.
Quickly return to the prison, making sure to pour grog into fresh mugs on the
way, then "use" the grog on the prison lock. This releases Otis. Ask him to be
in your crew, he tricks you and leaves, but does return to be on the crew before
you sail so it's not a problem that he's tricked you at the moment.
[cr4]---Get a ship:
===================
With a full crew enlisted, its times to get a ship for them to sail in.
Return to the Meléé Island map, click on the bright lights. This takes you to
"Stan’s Previously Owned Vessels". Stan is a maniac. Wearing a bright, long,
plaid jacket, he talks like the car salesman from hell, and waves his arms
around like he's talking in semaphore.
Tell him you want to buy a cheap boat. He takes you to the boat at the top of
the jetty. The famous "Sea Monkey". When he asks you how much you have to spend,
tell him you want it on credit. He refuses, but tells you the storekeeper will
give credit to people with jobs. Ah-haaaaa, I see some credit on the horizon,
skipper! As you leave Stan's to go to the storekeeper, Stan jumps you again and
gives you a compass and his business guide.
Return to the Meléé Island map, go to the village, and return to the
storekeeper. Tell him you'd like some credit. He asks you if you have a job, say
of course.
IMPORTANT: At this point save your game, and pay close attention to the
Storekeeper's safe lock. He walks up the stairs to the safe, and opens it. This
is the safe's combination. Make sure you remember it!
When the storekeeper comes back to his desk, he asks you your job. Any reply
here will have the same effect, he'll refuse to give you credit. He will return
to the safe and put the credit note back. This action gives you a second chance
to witness and remember the safe's combination.
When he's returned to his desk again, ask him if he can ask the sword master one
more time if she would train him. He reluctantly agrees to go ask, and leaves
the store. With the store master gone, you can go to the safe and open it.
NOTE: The combination varies each game, so i cannot list it here, but you move
the handle using the PUSH and PULL commands. If you make a mistake, the lock
returns to the start position and you must start over.
When you have successfully opened the safe, a fanfare will trumpet and Guybrush
will automatically pick up the credit note.
Leave the store, and return to Stan. Ask him to show you the cheap boat again.
When he asks how you want to pay, tell him you have a credit note from the store
keeper. He accepts it glee.
This is where things get a bit tricky. You have to negotiate with Stan to get
the price down so that he will accept the maximum value of the credit note -
5000 pieces of eight - for the ship.
To do this, ask about extras, when Stan tells you about an extra say you can
live without that piece of junk. Repeat this until Stan starts to talk about
extras you've already been told about. At this point say "enough about extras
already". There will be approximately 10 extras before Stan starts to repeat
himself.
At this point, ask Stan how much he thinks the ship is worth. He will say
something silly like 7k or even more.
Tell him you think you should think about it, and try to leave. When Stan asks
you to return, do so. Ask about some more extras - 2 or 3 will do - then ask the
price again. If it's still over 6k, leave and come back. Then ask about extras
yet again. Keep repeating this until Stan says the boat is worth somewhere
between the 5000 and 6000 pieces of eight mark. The common value at this point
is 5800. At this point say you want to make an offer, and offer 5000 pieces of
eight. Stan will reluctantly agree.
Viola you have a ship. He will meet you at the Docks to pick her up.
Go to the Docks. Stan will greet you there, make some spiel about having many
offers for the boat while it was sat there, but he refused. The mast drops off
the boat and Stan makes a hasty retreat. At this point your crew turns up, and
you are ready to set sail for Monkey Island.
[c]--- Part Two: The Journey:
______________________________
Your crew are utter gits. They refuse to do any work, and spend their time
sunbathing on the deck. Guybrush finds himself stood on the deck with the lazy
crew sunbathing.
Go up the mast and pick up the jolly roger (pirate) flag. Return to the deck and
go into the captains bedroom. Open the desk drawer, look inside and pick up the
book. Pick up the feather pen/quill, and the ink pot. Note the cabinet next to
the bed, you need a key for this to open in.
Leave the captain's bedroom, and go down the hatch to the lower deck. (This
access point can be hard to see, but directly behind the crew members, at the
bottom of the mast area.) You are in a room that has one room going off it, and
one room going further down. Go down to the very bottom of the ship.
Next to the leaking water is a barrel of gunpowder, pick up some. Pick up the
rope. Open the chest at the bottom right of the screen and pick up the wine.
Go up one floor and enter the kitchen. Open the wall cabinet, pick up the
cereal, open it to find a prize, "look at" the prize to discover its a monkey
headed key. Pick up the pot on the kitchen counter.
Return to the Captain's bedroom, open the cabinet with the key, pick up the
chest, open it, and pick up the leaflet, "look at" it to discover it is a recipe
for a voodoo spell to take people to monkey island.
Return to the kitchen. Try and place every item from your inventory into the
cooking pot. Guybrush will refuse to put some items in, anything else will go in
and even if it's not part of the recipe it will help clear your inventory for
one you get to Monkey Island.
Once you've added all the correct items to the pot, it will explode, and
Guybrush will be knocked out by the fumes.
When he wakes up, use the Meléé Island treaseure map with the flames
below the cooking pot. Then return to the lower deck of the ship,
pick up some more gunpowder. Go to the main deck where the crew are sunbathing.
ZOMG - Were at Monkey Island!
Use the rope with the back end of the cannon. Use the Gunpowder with the cannon
nozzle. Finally, use the cooking pot to be human cannoned over to Monkey Island.
[d]--- Part Three: Under Monkey Island:
________________________________________
After Herman Toothrot’s welcome, click anywhere on the screen to remove your
head
from the sand and put out the fire in your pants. Jeez, I bet that sounds weird
out of context... lol.
Pick up the Banana, and note the row boat, you'll be needing that later on. Read
the note. Be sure to pick up and read all the notes you find in the game, as
reading them all will give Xbox 360 users an achievement.
Click the jungle to enter the Monkey Island map.
On this island the map is bigger than the screen, so by walking to the edges of
it, the map will scroll over to reveal the rest of the island.
From the beach, go west, the map will scroll. You'll see another beach. Go to
it, pick up the note, and return to the Monkey Island map.
Option: You can talk to Herman more here for more back-story if you wish before
leaving for the map again..
On the far west side of the map you'll see a crater type structure, follow the
peak of the crater around to find the "Fort". Click on it to go there.
At the fort, pick up the rope, and push the cannon. Pick up
the cannon ball and the gunpowder.
Optional: You can talk to Herman more here for more back-story if you wish.
Return to the map.
Go east, follow the mountain ridge and you'll find the river fork. Go there.
Pick up the rock and the note, follow the path around to the walkway in the
rock. Go up it. Pick up the note. Pull/Push the rock see saw all the way so that
the rock is on the right, and the empty part of the see saw is on the left. Then
pull/push it back three times. Walk up the rock path to the top of the path.
Optional: You can talk to Herman more here for more back-story if you wish.
Push the rock off the top of the plateau. The rock will hit the see saw, and
send the big rock flying over to the beach and hitting the banana tree. You'll
know when it hits the banana tree as you'll hear Guybrush saying "Wow, that was
a one in a million shot!"
Note: If you don’t hit the boat with the rock, you will complete the game with
the crew coming with you, and stranding Herman on Monkey island. If you move the
rock see saw and hit the board with a rock, then you will strand the crew on the
island, and bring Herman with you to the end game. You need to complete both
scenarios for an Xbox 360 achievement.
Head back down the paths to the river's dam (picking up new notes on the way) -
where Guybrush says "Gosh, it sure is hot here". Use the Gunpowder with the
"Dam" (right hand side of the river, in the rocky bit). Then when stood at the
dam, use the flint rock with the cannonball. This bows the damn up and sends
water flowing down the river.
Return to the beach you washed up on to find two more bananas.
Return to the Monkey Island map, and head to the east to the "pond" at the end
of the river you flooded. There you will find a rope. Pick ip up, along with the
note.
Optional: You can talk to Herman more here for more back-story if you wish.
Return to the map, head east more to the beach, pick up the message in a bottle
and read it. Return to the map, head further east to the Clearing. This is the
Monkey Headed entrance to LeChuck's lair. Remember where this is, we'll be back
here later.
Optional: You can talk to Herman more here for more back-story if you wish.
Return to the map and go to the "Crack" - just north of the beach where you
washed up.
Use one of your ropes with the strong branch. Climb down. Use the second rope
with the tree stump, climb down, pick up the oars, return to beach where you
washed up. Use the oars with the board.
Using the boat on the Monkey Island map, you can now row around to the north
side of the island, do this and click on the Beach to land the boat. Pick up the
note.
Head to the jungle area to access the Monkey Island map. Head North west to the
Cannibal village. Go the far west part of the village, near the large monkey
head sacrifice area, and pick up the two bananas. Try to leave the village.
As you try to leave the village, you are confronted by the cannibals. They lock
you up in a hut. Note: Herman’s banana pickers are here, but we cant do anything
with them yet so don’t bother picking them up.
Pick up the note... jeez, all these bloody notes, haven’t they heard of twitter,
facebook or email???
Pick up the skull, and use the loose floor board. You will escape the hut and
automatically return to the Monkey Island map.
Return to the beach you left your boat, then row back to the beach you washed up
on.
Just north of this beach you will find a monkey walking around. Click on him.
This will bring up a jungle area screen with the monkey repeatedly walking
around and climbing trees. Give the monkey all five bananas to make him follow
you. If you gave him less than five bananas he would only follow you for a short
while.
With the monkey, return to the Monkey Head entrance to LeChuck's lair. DO NOT
use the boat, you must walk!
When you reach the totem poles at the fence blocking you from accessing the
monkey head, click on the "nose" on the left hand totem and "pull" it. This
opens the gate. But when you let go, the gate closes. The monkey sees this and
hangs himself on the nose allowing you access to the Monkey Head.
Pick up the small idol directly in front of the monkey head. There are lots of
idols but you can only pick up one.
Return to the cannibal village, and give them the idol. They will be very
pleased and walk off. Walk into the hut you were originally locked up in, and
pick up the banana pickers. Leave the hut. As you leave the village you will see
Herman. Give him the banana pickers and he will give you the key to the Monkey
Head.
Return to the clearing with the Monkey Head and idols. Use the key in the
Monkeys Ear... what a weird key!
The monkeys mouth drops open and you can walk through here to get to LeChuck’s
lair. Enter the monkey head, but leave straight after, then return to the
cannibal village.
Ask the cannibals for the head of the navigator, but they wont give it to you as
its the only one, and they'd hate to lose it. Give them the leaflet from your
inventory named "How to get ahead in navigating". They give you the Navigators
head. We need to use this to find out way thru the catacombs to LeChuck’s lair.
The cannibals will also tell you that if you bring them a root they can make a
tonic to kill LeChuck off for good! Sounds great, lets do it!
Return to the Monkey Head. Enter it. "Use" the navigators head... you can "Talk"
to it too if you want! Follow his nose to the lair. For example, if you are at a
T-junction, and the head points left, you go left.
Follow this all the way to LeChuck’s ship. When you arrive the ship, do not go
on
it yet! Instead, talk to the navigators head, and ask him for the necklace he's
got wrapped around him - it makes you invisible to LeChuck's crew. You can ask
him nicely and "pretty please" him into submission, or you can threaten him by
saying you'll kick him into the lava. Choice is yours, either way he eventually
gives you the necklace. When you get it "Use" it.
Walk to the ship. You will vanish, and get a blue line shimmering around you. Go
the left of the deck, enter LeChuck’s cabin, and use the compass in your
inventory with the key hanging up. This will suck the key over to you without
alerting LeChuck.
Go back on deck, go to the mast, and at the bottom of it is a hatch. Go down
there. You'll see a Pirate sleeping with a bottle of grog in his hand. We come
to this in a minute. For now, go right, you'll enter the hold. Walk to where the
chickens are, and you'll find a feather on the floor. Pick it up. Return to the
sleeping pirate, and "use" the feather with the sleeping pirates feet. Do this
two or three times and he'll drop the grog. Pick it up.
Return to the hold with the chickens and pigs. Use the key from LeChuck’s room,
with the locked hatch. Go down, and use the grog with the rat's tray. This
kills it off. Now go and pick up the grease. Return to the main deck. Use the
grease with the right hand side door, the grease stops it squeaking. Enter, and
pick up the tools. "Great, more inventory".
Return to the hold with the animals, use the tools with the glowing chest, this
has the root in it, pick it up.
Return to the cannibals, give them the root. They give you a spritzer full of
Ghost Pirate zapping goodness (part of your five a day I’m sure!). Return to
LeChuck's lair. You'll find Bob there, all alone. LeChuck has left to go back to
the church on Meléé Island to marry Elaine! Nooooooooooooooo! At this point
either Herman, or your crew, will enter and talk to you and Bob - depending upon
whether you sunk the ship or not with the rock see saw.
[e]--- Part Four: Guybrush Kicks Butt:
_______________________________________
You get returned to Meléé island docks, and a ghost appears. Zap him with the
spritzer and make your way to the church, zapping any ghosts who may get in your
way. Enter the church and use any of Guybrush's talk options to stop the
wedding.
LeChuck is peeved... he's not a happy bunny at having the wedding stop. However,
just as you think about spritzing him, Elaine abseils down to the church floor
from the roof saying she had things under control all along and Guybrush didn’t
need chase after her to rescue her. NOW SHE TELLS US!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
Just as we find out that the bride of LeChuck is in fact two monkeys with
Elaine's bottle of Ghost Pirate Spritzer, they run off with it, leaving Guybrush
to spritz LeChuck.
OH NO!!! The bottle's squirter has jammed! LeChuck winds up for one heck of a
big punch right into Guybrush's face and send him sailing into the air and
landing in the Grog machine at Stan's Previously Owned Vessels. Stan tries to
sell LeChuck a boat and gets a punch in his face for his trouble too. LeChuck
rattles the grog machine and Guybrush falls out. Quickly pick up the bottle of
grog on the floor and "Use" it with LeChuck. If you don’t do it quick enough you
will get "punched" around the island until you successful spritz LeChuck with
the grog bottle. If you fail to pick up the grog bottle LeChuck will eventually
punch you back to Stan's, but only after visiting nearly every other landmark
site on Meléé Island.
And that’s that. When you've spritzed LeChuck, he explodes into the most
wonderful fireworks display that Meléé island has ever seen, and Elaine and
Guybrush, stand together admiring the show - a blossoming relationship starts.
The End.
[v]... Authorized site List:
_____________________________
www.gamefaqs.com
www.neoseeker.com
www.supercheats.com
gamesradar.com
cheatplanet.com
If you see this guide elsewhere please let me know. If you wish to
include this guide on your website please notify me first and ask,
thanks.
[vi]... Guide Updates
_____________________
v1.1:
- Doh! I missed out the part about setting fire to the Meléé Island
treasure map while in the Sea Monkey's kitchen. Thanks to Nicholas for
the heads up!
v1.2
- Added gamesradar.com and cheatplanet.com to authorised sites list.
- Correction: There's no note at the fort. Thanks to donnieRedboY for
pointing that out.</p>
