Videogame definition of "party":
Crap for babies.
It’s comforting, isn’t it? Though our hobby is famous for igniting stupid flame wars and for inspiring stubborn fanboy bias, all gamers – no matter what their console or genre preference – can agree on, and rally around, one unassailable truth. Party games suck.
The genre has become such a pathetically obvious joke, in fact, that we don’t bother laughing anymore. But we should! Because despite their already bottom-of-the-bargain-barrel reputation, party games somehow manage to grow lamer
and lamer with each new generation.
Here for your much deserved ridicule, then, are seven of the worst party games of the past seven years. Warning: These are so annoying, so pointless and so unplayable that the maraca-shaking assholecouldn’t even make the cut.
7) SHREK SUPER PARTY
How you know it’s a “party”: Take one look at the beautiful box art below. Ogre-iffic? That adjective may make no sense whatsoever, but tell that to our aching funny bones. And those heads… oh my god, those heads are too big for their bodies. Comically so!
The lame reality: Shrek. Super. Party. Three small and seemingly innocuous words that disguise an unfathomable amount of suffering. Let’s break the title down, shall we?
1) “Shrek”. The 2001 animated film famous for ogres, donkeys, fart jokes, pop culture references, Disney bashing, Mike Myers accents, Smash Mouth songs and an overall running theme on visual ugliness.
2) “Super”. An admission that your game is anything but. If you’re desperate enough to use this adjective, and you’re not Nintendo or Capcom, you’ve clearly got something to hide.
3) “Party”. As previously defined, “crap for babies.”
Unfortunately, and predictably, Shrek Super Party lives up to its name. After a blurry, button-mashing hour of onion ring volleyball and swamp boat paddling, we almost gave up on this entire feature. By the time you’re done reading, you’ll probably wish he had…
Worst excuse for a minigame: Farting on bees. Yes, that actually happens in Shrek Super Party, and we thought for sure it'd be the worst minigame. Then we experienced this:
60 seconds to ensure you’ll never ever play:
60 seconds to ensure you’ll never ever play:
