These games are classics. They're beloved by millions. The problem? Well, they suck. Don't believe us? Keep reading. Yeah, some had their defenders - even on our staff. But a convincing argument can be made about why each game just doesn't cut it. And that's just what we'll do. Ready? Line 'em up and we'll knock 'em down...
Final Fantasy VIII
Hated by: Nintendo Editor Brett Elston
The entire catalogue of Final Fantasy games is untouchable. We get that. They're all special and unique in their own way. But that can't keep Final Fantasy VIII from being an overwrought bitchfest packed with a whiny cast of teenagers and an insanely tedious battle system.
Heading up the pity-party cast is Squall, a pissy anti-hero who's allegedly falling in love with the delicate Rinoa Heartilly (Isn't that adorable? "Heart" is even in her name.) How long must you wait to see the happy couple united? Dozens of hours. Antisocial Squall won't even crack a smile until the ending, yet he's surrounded by supportive friends the whole time.
In high school, everyone respects/fears the jerks but nobody likes them. Hell, the entire cast of FFVIII is a manifestation of Squall's emotional desert: insecurity (Quistis), overconfidence (Zell), naivety (Selphie), compassion (Rinoa)... it's a list of stereotypical, contrasting personalities that's no fun to hang around for 40-plus hours.
Above: Isn't that sweet? She dragged him onto the dance floor
As for the battles... could they be any more obnoxious? No magic points, just sucking spells out of enemies? Yeah, that's fun. Makes perfect sense too, getting healing spells out of butterflies and robots. And how about the exceedingly long summon attacks? If we wanted to see monsters beat the crap out of each other, we'd watch Godzilla, not spend hours pretending to play a game.
Enemies level up with you instead of keeping a constant strength level, weapons and armor aren't equipped in the same way as every other Fantasy... we could go on and on. Plus, for a game centered around the idea of love (as evidenced by the logo artwork, Squall and Rinoa embracing), it's home to the most forced, uninteresting romance this side of Attack of the Clones.
"Four discs of this is four discs too many." - Brett
