MAD Magazine's Joystick Jabberwocky
By Frank Jacobs
'Twas Billy, and the Shyguy Clones
Did Grax and Grumple in the Kraid;
All Lizzie were the Hanger Zones,
And Phanto Renegade.
"Beware the Shadow Boss, my son!
The Killer Clams, the Mummy Men!
Don't Goombah with a Neul, and shun
The Death Breath known as Ken!"
He Holtzed at Zigmos from afar,
Dodged Zombie Slime with lightning scroll,
While Zelda in her Mamda Jar
Made Yuki with a Troll.
And as he Beaked for Pyradoks,
The Shadow Boss Twinbellowed through,
Backed up by Pengs, Chicago Ox,
Twelve Ninjas and McGoo.
Dagoom! Dagoom! Zabs met their doom!
And when the final Folfu fell,
Lay Bloopered ranks of Battletanks
And Mario as well.
"And hast thou zapped the Shadow Boss?
Well, spike my Foss! No Sniffit thee!
Kello! Kello! O Porcupo!"
He Dakkered in his Skree.
'Twas Billy, and the Shyguy Clones
Did Grax and Grumple in the Kraid;
All Lizzie were the Hanger Zones,
And Phanto Renegade.
--
This truly sterling effort was published long ago in the legendary American mag, MAD Magazine. Seamlessly adapting Lewis Carrol's beautifully constructed nonsense poem, The Jabberwocky, Frank Jacobs melds the many different worlds of videogames together in a suberb stream of ridiculous, yet utterly convincing non-words (or, don't you know, portmanteaux).
The man doesn't hit a single dud note over the entire thing. We'll forever be imagining the many possible actions inferred by the lines "While Zelda in her Mamda Jar, Made Yuki with a Troll". Hmmm.
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